


for me it’s you (always)

by carnationcafe (VioletTea)



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Emotional Infidelity, Kinda, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24767044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletTea/pseuds/carnationcafe
Summary: Yugyeom is arranged to marry an alpha prince for a political alliance. They plan on making their first official appearance at the most important event of the year: Jinyoung's sister's wedding. He is finally able to meet his childhood friends for the first time in nearly a decade. However, Yugyeom never expects how much the month-long ceremony is going to change everything.
Relationships: Kim Yugyeom/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 37
Kudos: 83





	1. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "After all this time?"  
> "Always."

Jaehyun and Yugyeom won't be seeing each other until their wedding, a week from today. At least that's what Jaehyun tells him that morning on the front steps of the estate.

After sending him off with a brief hug and a light kiss on the cheek to wherever Jaehyun's work is taking him, Yugyeom goes to the makeshift painting room, built courtesy of his request. A guard is moved outside the door and his personal servants are dismissed for his alone time. Though Yugyeom usually prefers company, especially considering how creepy the winter wind can be in this empty castle, he feels a weight fly off his shoulders when the door shuts behind him.

The room has the bare necessities for his work, completely empty besides the paintings he brought from home and his easel, standing at the center of the room with a painting. Everyone who visits, the queen, his servants, even Jaehyun, see a flower in progress, as if Yugyeom is still adding to his vast collection of plant paintings.

The painting is rather ugly for Yugyeom's standards and he knows he should stop adding any more layers on the poor flower, but he can only sigh when he finishes adding one more for the day. It's part of his routine, a way to release his surface notions and thoughts. He sets the painting aside to dry and goes to his collection of old paintings. A smile moves his face when he pulls out the furthest one and he sets it on the easel with tingling fingers.

There is a sketch, pencil lines on otherwise bare canvas, and despite the rush of excitement Yugyeom feels when he begins working on the sketch, he can't finish it.

It's a person with shoulders, a neck, and hair. Ears, nose, lips. The eyes are the only missing piece left.

But Yugyeom doesn't know how to finish it and today seems to be no different.

There is a horrible smudge where the eyes should be, giving the otherwise fairly clean canvas a messy appearance. Yugyeom begins again like he has done for weeks, drawing faintly over the dark smudge to what Yugyeom remembers of the person, but he can barely see the almond shape he wants and tries to erase it even though he knows full well the image is already ruined, rubbing the smudge all the way to the edges of the face.

However, despite the imperfectness of the unfinished piece, it still remains to be his favorite.

When noon comes, a few hours pacing and drawing with no breaks, the servant knocks on the door before entering. A dandelion is on the easel and the sketch is hidden away, safe from not-so-charming, prying eyes. The servant makes a vague compliment about the bright colors before informing him about the queen's arrival and taking his place besides the door, waiting for Yugyeom to get up from his seat.

Yugyeom leaves the room soon after, leaving the room for the servants to clean. He makes small talk with his guards and servants as he walks down the hall, a grin on his lips as if he was truly feeling joy living in these walls. However, his thoughts, clouded as they are, remain on the painting.

Yugyeom knows the face he is drawing. Though months have passed since he has seen him, he has the man's face permanently imprinted on his mind like every other detail of him.

Alas, the pair of eyes glazed in sugar, dripping with honey whenever he looks at Yugyeom, are still impossible for him to draw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you get the quote, kudos to u (hint: the author is a shit person lol)
> 
> jinyoung doesn't come yet and idk why i trash my favorite nct members in other fics so...
> 
> kudos and comment if you can!


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding begins.

The first night of the month-long wedding is a simple dinner and despite the unfamiliar faces, setting, and atmosphere, Yugyeom feels welcomed. His smile is effortlessly gentle towards everyone, but it especially widens around one of his oldest friends.

"Prince Yugyeom, rare to see you here," Bambam laughs, his voice frighteningly deeper than Yugyeom remembered. They chat about their families for a moment, trivial things really, but Yugyeom relishes Bambam's company. He is an effortless charmer, hilarious, and probably his best friend if Yugyeom hasn't been away from the social circle in a long time.

However, Bambam’s eyes, shaded by tinted glasses, spots Yugyeom’s ring, an ornate piece of gold and emeralds for Jaehyun’s flag. His red lenses do nothing to hide the shift in his gaze, distraught, glum, and even agitated compared to the previous glee because he is quick to connect the few dots, smarter than what he appears to be, but he congratulates Yugyeom anyways.

Jackson, who seems so small now, catches the pair talking and immediately wraps Yugyeom in a hug. Jaebeom, Youngjae, and Mark soon follow with similarly amused smiles and laughter.

Everything is fine, normal, and for Yugyeom, especially nostalgic. Bambam lifts Yugyeom’s hand up to everyone’s eyes, his eyes serious as he echos his previous congratulations to everyone else. Yugyeom gulps at the chill befalling their group. 

Arranged marriages are rare, a sign of the olden days, but an omega's hand in marriage is a formidable political alliance. He doubts they are going to object his decision in front him yet, he still sighs in relief when they send their best wishes to him.

Jaehyun is long swept away from him in the dining hall, but Yugyeom will meet him later and the ring on his finger isn't exactly small. Now, he needs to eat. The political nonsense can wait for the rest of the month.

"Is Jinyoung handling the guests?" Yugyeom asks, waiting for their meal with everyone else at their table.

"It's his sister's wedding after all," Youngjae answers. "He has been jittery all day. Maybe we should invite him to tea later to catch up? Tomorrow morning he should be free."

A jittery Jinyoung seems impossible to even imagine. For events like these, Yugyeom remembers Jinyoung excelling, especially with kids and royalty. He knows no one can be an ideal prince, but Jinyoung might be the closest to being one. But a wedding is a big deal and Yugyeom can’t see Jinyoung at all. The to-be-wedded couple of the evening is making their toasts and Yugyeom still can't see Jinyoung anywhere. Dinner finally begins and finding Jinyoung from this elite crowd of similarly dressed people is thrown out the window for food.

After dinner, they make plans for tea in the morning with Jinyoung as the main star. Yugyeom is sure they are all going to stay up for tonight and talk to Jinyoung about the plan. He, however, has someone to get back to. 

Yugyeom finds Jaehyun by the stairway and link arms as they walk. They break apart when they enter their bedroom and Yugyeom is thankful sleep takes him away from the suffocating silence. 

Though Yugyeom has hope for their relationship to grow and blossom, how much longer will they have to wait for that spark to happen? He doesn't believe in fate, but this relationship seems fated to doom already. Connecting with Jaehyun has been a challenge since day one and Yugyeom knows for a fact that Jaehyun doesn’t act his way normally. Before he intruded, Jaehyun was still quiet with his friends yet radiating with such joy from just the way he smiled.

Yugyeom can only imagine having such a simple power, making Jaehyun smile and laugh, in his dreams. For now at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is when things really start, but it flip flops a lot
> 
> i couldnt think of a fitting quote for the summary
> 
> as always kudos and comment are much appreciated!


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung is finally here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is very long

They are all sitting in a lounge room reserved by Jackson and though the room is massive and they are the only people occupying it, Yugyeom swears he hasn’t heard a room so loud before. 

However, the excitement only grows even greater when Jackson spots the man of the hour coming in.

"Prince Jinyoung! It’s a pleasure to be here," Jackson bellows, lifting his cup of tea as if it were a pint of ale.

Jinyoung, dressed in his navy suit, looks handsome, cheesy love story handsome, the kind of person that can easily inspire a collection of poems with his face painted beautifully on the cover.

Yugyeom has always had the image of Jinyoung’s bowl haircut in his head, the image of the teenage Jinyoung who emitted a certain type of goofiness around his friends, but he now understands why his mother gushes about him after she visits his kingdom. He really has that perfect image alongside his princely behavior.

Jinyoung is poised when he takes the empty seat beside Yugyeom. He pours a cup of tea and sips it without any sugar. Yugyeom can see the crown prince’s face grimace at the cold, bitter bite of the tea, but he looks away just as everyone starts opening their mouths again. 

Jackson compliments a speech Jinyoung gave somewhere at some event and everyone begins to pester him about details of his sister’s wedding. Yugyeom can hear “party” and “fish” thrown around, but he ignores the majority of the specifics. Jaehyun will probably talk to him about it on their way to tonight’s dinner with an aloofness Yugyeom doesn’t understand how he always exudes.

His attention is divided on the sugar in his tea and the rapid movements of Bambam’s leg underneath the table for the most part. Sometimes he catches a word, but he ignores thinking too much about the events in store for perfecting the sugar ratio of his cup. At least not until Jinyoung calls his name out.

"Prince Yugyeom, you have grown so much," Jinyoung mutters under his breath, reminding Yugyeom of how close Jinyoung is sitting next to him. Yugyeom ignores how everyone else has started to dance their words around the palace gardens and mutely observes how Jinyoung’s shoulders barely tense despite his face being trained ahead of him.

"It's been eight years. Anything can happen," Yugyeom whispers to him with a huff, hitting the edge of the teacup out of uncontrolled frustration and taking a tentative sip. Not sweet enough.

Jinyoung's face lights up, the corner of his mouth rising the slightest bit, and Yugyeom is sure whatever he is going to say isn’t serious. Whenever Jinyoung smirks, his words can be taken as seriously as any other person’s drunken rambles. Not like Yugyeom would even take Jinyoung’s words for face value. 

"I heard many _great_ things about you," The crown prince goes on, lifting his cup to his mouth, but halts from taking a sip to wait.

"I haven’t left my kingdom in eight years. What is there to even say?"

"Your mom said many things about you," Jinyoung taunts, dropping the tea cup on the saucer with a crash. He grabs the back of Yugyeom's neck and ruffles his hair with his other hand. The gesture is familiar, endearingly close considering how long Yugyeom has last seen Jinyoung so he grumbles only a little as Jinyoung burrows his fingers deeper.

Nothing has changed really, Yugyeom thinks as Jinyoung takes his hand out of his hair, eyes humorously observing the bird's nest it became before turning away. Jinyoung is back to arguing with Jaebeom and Yugyeom goes back to dumping sugar into his tea as he jokes around with Bambam. 

"Have you set a wedding date?" Jackson asks out of nowhere his grin barring all his teeth. Yugyeom grimaces at everyone's attention, taking a short sigh as he looks up from his tea.

"It's in a few months. We haven't began--"

"Jinyoung, you--" Jaebum cuts him off. 

Bambam leaps from the table like a bug has just scurried around his pastry and Mark leans away from Jinyoung, avoiding the river of tea running over the tablecloth. Youngjae shouts for napkins before inching away like Mark.

The tea is from his cup, tipped over by Jinyoung’s hand, Yugyeom slowly realizes as the mixture of tea, sugar, and cream clings to him.

"Sorry," Jinyoung apologizes, rising from his seat to clean up the mess. The tea is cold on Yugyeom's hand and he takes a napkin to dab the stain off of his dark sleeve. Mother will be so mad to see him staining his best suit right now.

Jinyoung offers to help clean him up, voice oddly commanding considering Yugyeom isn't burning or anything, but Yugyeom still follows him out of the room, staring at the grim expression of the crown prince’s face from the side as he keeps quiet. 

The guards take a look at them for a second and bows toward Jinyoung as they continue down the hallway. Jinyoung swings a door open and pushes him inside the tiled room. The bathroom is large, a bath, two sinks, and a plethora of plants and mirrors decorating the empty spaces. 

Jinyoung gestures for him to wash his sticky hands. Yugyeom turns the faucet on with haste, but he looks at Jinyoung from the mirrors, catching his frown as their eyes meet.

"I know where the bathrooms are," He brings up as he pumps soap into his hands, lathering his palms and fingers until the foam covers them both.

Jinyoung makes a dignified grunt, but makes no step from where he stands by the door. "It's been a while. A really long while. How are you getting married before all of us?"

Yugyeom looks away from the mirror. Has Jinyoung really dragged him away to ask about this? Why does it even matter to him anyway? 

He takes a look back and Jinyoung is still watching him, his continuing silence a provocation for Yugyeom to answer.

"My parents have been arranging one since my omega status was revealed. Situations became dire and Prince Jaehyun just happened to be the prince," He reluctantly reveals.

"Jaehyun? Jung Jaehyun?"

Yugyeom nods as he rinses his hand. Jinyoung passes him a towel and the conversation between them dies there. They walk out of the room and Jinyoung is talking with the guards about something away from Yugyeom before dragging him back down the hallway. 

The silence Yugyeom wanted gone returns unwanted and he tries to make up something to say, anything really, but the words get caught in his throat. Jinyoung likewise keeps quiet as they walk their way back to the lounge. 

The crown prince is off pestering Jaebeom for trying to take Mark's food again and Yugyeom can finally let go of his breath (one he didn’t realize he was holding) as he joins Mark’s conversation with Youngjae.

However, the temporary relief is short lived. Jinyoung suggests sitting at a different place so all of them follow him out the door, new guards flanking their sides now. He leads everyone through multiple archways until they are outside in the gardens with the blue sky above them. 

They spend the rest of the day at the gardens, a change of scenery from the grandeur of the lounge. As they begin mingling again, Yugyeom can't help catching Jinyoung’s eyes on him every once in a while, but he ignores the glances, burrowing himself in conversation with everyone else.

Occasionally, Jinyoung makes jabs at him, surprisingly weak compared to the past remarks he made that Yugyeom sometimes had to tell himself that they were just jokes for the peace of his mind. So he just gives an easy grin and carries on talking, unaware of the way Jinyoung bites his lips after out of distaste.

Everything feels rather normal compared to what Yugyeom expected. The simple banter and teasing between all of them feels timeless, something Yugyeom finds a little difficult to imagine considering they first met as kids.

Eventually, dinner comes around and though they were allowed to skip lunch with Jinyoung by their side, dinner is mandatory to be eaten with everyone else.

Yugyeom is the first to go back to his room to get ready for dinner and his friends trail him with great interest for some reason though their excuse was their rooms were further away. 

He greets the door guards and opens the door with his key, but he jumps back a little, tensing as he clutches the doorknob for support as he stares at the figure inside the room.

Jaehyun is early, standing there in a semi-formal buttoned shirt, a strange glint in his eyes as he takes Yugyeom's hand. His soon-to-be-husband leans down and Yugyeom holds his snort at Jaehyun’s attempt to look larger even though he is taller and probably just as broad.

"Darling, do you want to skip the dinner for today?" Jaehyun projects not-so discreetly.

Yugyeom tries not to grimace at the name. “Is there any reason to skip?"

Jaehyun doesn't respond, tossing a look at the door where his friends are not-so-secretly looking through.

"We," Jaehyun starts again, turning Yugyeom to face the (un)wanted guests, wrapping an arm around his waist, "Are going to get ready for dinner."

Jackson is entranced by his confidence, eyebrows wiggling towards the both of them and a tease on his lips. Jaebeom isn't as pleased, eyes squinting the slightest at Jaehyun. Youngjae's smile falls and he looks elsewhere while Bambam and Mark say nothing, grim like when Yugyeom revealed his engagement.

Jinyoung is the only one who speaks up. 

"Prince Jaehyun, we are already dressed up and this dinner is no different from yesterdays. He can come with us just as he is right now. I would even dare think he looks fine this evening if I didn’t know of his current circumstances."

Jaehyun’s smirk weighs down into a fine line, fists tightening even whiter than his pale skin. Yugyeom takes the chance to wriggle under his grip, breaking free with tense haste. He opens his mouth to speak, but Jaehyun silences him with a shake of his head, nodding towards his friends with defeat. Without any other option, Yugyeom presses a chaste kiss on his cheek before scurrying for the door. 

At dinner, Jaehyun’s face is in a twisted scowl and he doesn't try to be subtle when he stares at Yugyeom from another table, eyes as icy as ever as they train on his every move. Jinyoung pokes him and Yugyeom catches himself from squeaking when Jinyoung leans his face closer to him.

"I advise you to stop looking at him," Jinyoung almost croons in his ear, nudging Yugyeom’s side with twinkling eyes. He waves his fork around Yugyeom’s face and his usual frown is replaced with a faint smirk. "Never look back. I heard rumors he prefers the cold type of person, much unlike you."

Yugyeom guffaws at the advice and pushes the man away, moving his eyes to the far left of his sight to avoid looking at the crown prince besides him. However, his efforts are wasted. Jinyoung leans close to him again and his knee bumps Yugyeom’s, grabbing his attention away from the pretty vase standing alone on its shelf. He really can’t avoid him now.

"Don’t fret, crown prince. We are doing fine. Swell even," Yugyeom calmly responds the best he can, patting Jinyoung’s arm with his best reassuring smile as dinner gets served.

Jinyoung pinches his ear, a brotherly gesture, but he angles his seat closer to Yugyeom's and their thighs are now pressed side by side.

For the rest of the night, Jinyoung bumps his thigh next to Yugyeom's, his hand gripping Yugyeom's shoulder every once in a while. Yugyeom doesn’t lean away because it's a comforting touchiness that Jinyoung usually has with everyone. And maybe Jinyoung’s words have some truth. Jaehyun is still glaring, eyes trained on the back of his head like a sniper, but Yugyeom tries to ignore it for the rest of the night. Pondering on negative things while eating gives indigestion, Yugyeom reminds himself.

Walking up to the bedroom alone is an awkward trek and acting like he is asleep as Jaehyun climbs in the bed makes his stomach feel all tense. However, Jinyoung’s advice proved to be correct. The next morning, Jaehyun wakes Yugyeom up personally, ruffling his hair and smiling down on him in a way that makes Yugyeom feel all mushy inside. Instead of having two separate baths, they take one together and eat breakfast in the convenience of their own room instead of going downstairs with everyone else. 

Their alone time is pleasant, something Yugyeom finds surprising, and Jaehyun seems to put more effort in his words for once. He talks with more life in his eyes, lips quirking occasionally, and the conversation deviates away from their lives as princes. However, the moment is interrupted right as Yugyeom pokes Jaehyun's dimples with a giggle.

"Hello, lovebirds," Jackson greets from the door, swaggering into the room without hesitation.

Jaehyun greets him with a smile, or he tries to. His face winds up sourly, lips pressed tightly as Jackson moves around by either of them.

"Are you intimidated," Yugyeom whispers, placing his hand over Jaehyun’s. His fiancé is oddly receptive to the touch and nods, but his small, barely there smile drops immediately when Jackson goes around the bed.

"Jinyoung wants you to come eat with us for lunch. Everyone else is already there."

Jaehyun stands up from his seat and despite the expensive floor and chairs, the sharp, squealing sound hurts Yugyeom's ears. "Why does he need my fiancé?"

Jaehyun's nostrils are flaring and for once, he looks very human, not a statue or sculpture that he usually acts like. However, Jackson doesn’t answer his question and walks out the door, gesturing for Yugyeom to follow before he walks away. 

Yugyeom knows he probably should stay with Jaehyun. They are engaged after all and this might be a pivotal turn for the better in terms of their relationship. But his friends, people he hasn't seen in years, are waiting for him. Jinyoung is also the host of the wedding and to reject his invitation even as a friend might be risky if word gets out.

He turns to tell Jaehyun he is going to come back right after, but the words get caught in his throat when he sees Jaehyun’s cloudy face of defeat. Jaehyun keeps quiet, a grave, deadly silence as Yugyeom looks at himself in the mirror. When Yugyeom finally walks out the door, Jaehyun doesn’t return his farewell and Yugyeom can’t help picking up his pace as he leaves. 

Going back to their room later is going to be horrible, Yugyeom internally groans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are always appreciated!


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s much easier not to know things sometimes.”

Yugyeom’s friends are all there, playing with the newly placed silverware by the time Yugyeom takes a seat at the table. They greet him with a few questions, their spirits as bright as the weather outside, but he keeps thinking about Jaehyun, his face so sullen and alone. Food arrives before he could properly answer any of his friends and they ignore whatever they said to watch the dishes arrive. He takes tentative sips of water as he watches his friends dig in, not taking a single bite for himself. His stomach is a tight knot, too tense to digest his food properly.

“How is _your_ wedding going to be like?” Jinyoung randomly brings up, his eyes narrowing the tiniest bit as he takes a bite of some fancy piece of meat. He looks unhappy, like the weird sauce on his food left a bad aftertaste every time he chewed.

"It won’t be a month long and the guest list has already been made by my in-laws," Yugyeom answers curtly, a frown unknowingly present on his lips as he takes another sip of water.

Yugyeom shouldn’t have come down here. He should have stayed with Jaehyun considering he can’t even eat lunch right now. What has he been doing this entire hour he has been here? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Jaehyun’s face the dissatisfied and grim line of his mouth comes to mind again and he can’t help sighing at his clean plate, glaring at the thick gleam of the porcelain.

"We can see you after the wedding, right?" Bambam asks him, pulling Yugyeom out of his thoughts. He looks up and his resolve to remain sullen the entire day melts when he sees Bambam's wide eyes, his childlike youth shining through.

Now, Yugyeom feels bad for feeling so down in front of them all. He shouldn’t have them worry so much about him. His problems were his to deal with, not for his friends to fret. He can talk to him later when they weren’t trying to relax from all the complex, political networking. Jinyoung probably invited them all to lunch to have some peace from the wedding preparations too and here he was looking like a temperamental child.

"You will probably see me more than ever," He assures them, grinning like he doesn’t have a disgruntled fiance back in his room. It works thankfully. Everyone collectively lets out a sigh of relief and soon an argument begins about mint chocolate. Yugyeom watches the entire scene unfold, clapping and laughing as he usually would.

As he tries to mimic his past self, he slowly begins to react more genuinely. He sometimes forgets how much he missed his friends and how long the eight year gap affected everyone. They haven't been together since forever and from the way everyone else bombards each other with questions he can assume they were also infrequently meeting up. Everyone has grown up after all, the last time he has seen any of them he barely passed Jackson's height, but coming back together sparks their chemistry like they had never been apart in the first place.

The deadly silence suffocating his room is long forgotten for their mindless chatter, a fond loudness that fills the entire garden, and Yugyeom feels himself loosening up as well as regretting not eating earlier. The dishes are gone from the table and he can only fill his empty stomach with water. That piece of meat would be nice right about now, he internally groans as he takes another sip.

"You look tired," Jaebeom mumbles, too quiet to have any effect towards the ruckus around them. His expression is neutral, but his body is turned away from everyone else, emitting his intense charisma only towards Yugyeom.

Yugyeom breaks into a smile, one far sunnier than before, and nods, his unstyled hair bouncing with the movement. "Yeah, it's just been a while. You know?"

Jaebeom has a misty look in his eyes as the ever sentimental one and Yugyeom squeezes his hand lightly with an even greater smile, one that makes his cheeks hurt.

The moment is broken however when Jaehyun drops in from the corner of his eye. He stops at their table and Yugyeom realizes the sun is already so low in the sky. Jaehyun is dressed for tonight's first wedding ball, absolutely glowing with all the gold embroidery on his suit and gleam of oil on his chest. They let Yugyeom go with a joke or two, burning his cheeks with embarrassment as he follows Jaehyun back inside, but the burning heat in his cheeks are long gone when the two are alone, a stifling silence falling between the engaged pair again. However, Jaehyun seems to be in a better mood, his face not as glum as when Yugyeom left him, and the silence feels far less tense than before though Yugyeom doesn’t attempt to break it as they walk back.

In their room, servants doll him up under the scrutiny of Jaehyun's dark eyes for the ball. Everything Yugyeom wears today has to be a statement of not only his character, but his kingdom and their arrangement. However, Yugyeom doubts his chosen fit checks off any of the boxes. His suit, a simple cut with dark violet fabric, isn't much compared to Jaehyun's immense details and their colors as well as fabrics clash, an unpleasant contrast for two betrothed people.

"We aren't going to match or anything?" Yugyeom points out as he looks through the jewelry box for his favorite earrings. “I mean, we are a couple right?”

Jaehyun shakes his head, his lip corners rising the slightest. “There are better ways to make a statement than clothes. We aren't supposed to stand out that much either. Couple suits are for marriages and well, this is a wedding."

"How is this?" Yugyeom hums in front of the mirror.

"It's fine," Jaehyun comments, taking Yugyeom's hand. They walk out of the room and Jaehyun’s arm sneaks up around Yugyeom's waist. By the entrance of the ballroom, they wait alongside everyone else to be declared by the announcer.

The ball is held in a gorgeous ballroom, one of many in the castle. The marble floors were unscathed and the numerous candles burning lit the entire room up, allowing everything to glow in their respective ways. There are tables where people can eat, but the main attraction is the dance floor in the center of the enormous room.

He is still attached to Jaehyun as they mingle with the rest of the guests, who like Jaehyun said were mostly mismatched. Yugyeom takes the reins of speaking for the both of them, an untapped zealous for conversation after eight years of confinement in his small kingdom. Fellow guests greet him with smiles on their slightly familiar faces and some even reach out for small hugs despite knowing most of them for a span of a week at most. 

The environment is lively in the room and the energy increases as more people come in. He is tugged left and right to greet more people, wave to new, friendly faces as Jaehyun follows like a glimmering shadow behind him. Yugyeom tries to tell himself this was good. He was finally meeting new people and acting as a couple, but the smile slips every once in a while. Has it always been this tiring as well?

When he is sure he made all the proper rounds with people, he whispers to Jaehyun, "I think I need to take a break."

"Do you need any help? The dancing isn't going to begin until the musicians arrive so you have time."

"I don't need anything, but thank you."

Jaehyun lets go of him after they find him an empty spot at a table and he lingers for a while, silent, but present and oddly attentive to the complaints Yugyeom makes about the spicy plate of food guests are being served for today. When Jaehyun's friends drop by near them, Yugyeom pats his hand, motioning him to follow them as they drift to the edge of the cleared center of the room.

"Don’t forget about me when the dance begins, prince," Yugyeom teases and the accompanying blush on Jaehyun’s satisfies him as much as Jaehyun's friends' snorts do. They leave him alone after a few pats on the shoulder and Yugyeom can find his breath again. He doesn't know what to exactly do now. Without any music, all there is to do was to eat, drink, and talk. His friends were nowhere to be seen and he didn't want to try the spicy sliver of mush that was being offered around the room.

He could go for a drink. Talking made his mouth feel parched and a few servants were offering bubbly flutes of champagne. It never hurts to drink one now, Yugyeom thinks as he gets up and walks over to one servant. He follows the wandering plate, a little bit too far to reach, and goes around a pillar. Someone bumps into him from the back, their shoulder pushing his right side and Yugyeom grimaces. He turns, an apology on his tongue, only to see Jinyoung standing behind him.

He wore his crown for the night, a thin and elegant piece of gold and sapphires with ornamentation around its edges. His suit is a regal navy, a simple design with a row of buttons down his abdomen.

Yugyeom can feel the weight of his gaze on him, though he isn't sure it can compare to the dozens of people looking at Jinyoung from the corner of their eyes.

"Why are you chasing the guy," Jinyoung murmurs, brushing himself off though there was nothing on him.

"I wasn--were you watching me?" Yugyeom flabbergasts, glancing back to the server prance away from their crown prince.

"You were too obvious."

Yugyeom doesn't know how getting a drink was being too obvious. There isn't any other way to get a drink besides getting up and asking for one. "I just wanted a drink."

"Don't pout."

"I'm not pouting."

Jinyoung opens his mouth, a frown pulling down the corners of his lips and Yugyeom figures he is in fact pouting. Music streams through their ears, music for the first dance. Yugyeom turns to the crowd surrounding the center of the room. He can see the engaged couple dancing in the center. Almost unconsciously, he moves closer to watch and he is barely aware of Jinyoung following him as he looks over people’s heads. The betrothed couple have to memorize the dance beforehand. There is a different one each ball during the wedding and some courtship law requires the couple to dance first. His eyes follow the glimmering ball gown, the straight laced white tuxedo that moves around the center square. Yugyeom loses his breath as she is lifted in the air and claps alongside the rest of the guests as they do a few more complicated moves. They were talented dancers, a caliber Yugyeom has only seen on city streets at midnight, when the couples have only begun to drink and his brother is chasing him down for leaving the castle unsupervised. The end is a flourish to the entire routine and the music doesn't stop for the applause that follows. The next round is for all couples. Which means...

"Prince Yugyeom, may I have this dance?"

He turns and Jaehyun is standing in front of him in all his golden splendor, his rough yet beautiful, slender hand outstretched. Jinyoung is looking at him and Yugyeom is acutely aware of how Jinyoung stares when he takes Jaehyun's hand. There is an inkling of a thought to tease the crowned prince. Jaehyun takes him away, almost at the opposite end of where he stood before, but Yugyeom's head is angled at a degree where he can still face Jinyoung, who is pointedly glaring at him for ditching him.

Well, now he has to.

The music heightens past the transition between the phases and the sweet romantics of the first piece is long gone for a grander melody. They moving in a circle, following the other couples as they surrounded the main stars of the wedding. Jaehyun spins him and when Yugyeom comes to a stop right where Jinyoung stands, he winks at him. There isn't enough time for Yugyeom to see Jinyoung’s reaction yet he can't help smiling at the rush he gets imagining how sour Jinyoung's face is scrunched up. The dance continues and he gets spun again and again. His steps quicken, elongate, and shorten throughout. Jaehyun isn't as well adjusted, but he followed suit, letting Yugyeom guide him through the routine.

After a triumph of brass, a grand end for the most intense routine of the night, a slower melody plays and he takes smaller steps to accommodate the throng of people entering the dance floor. The tune is familiar and Jaehyun's grip around him weakens before they switch partners. Jackson is at his right, a very pleasant surprise. When they dance, Jackson is all showy and powerful to the point where Yugyeom can't help giggling as they travel around the floor. From the corner of his eye, he can see Bambam following suit and together they make random dips and turns and all sorts-of moves that have some of the guests either laughing or dashing to get away from their path. 

When they are about to switch partners, he feels a great loss of energy, not from the sheer power it took to complete the moves, but from losing the presence of his friends.

Yugyeom lets go of Jackson and turns to his right just to see Jinyoung of all people. Again. 

Jinyoung is smiling, thanking a woman for dancing with him. The expression is forced, a complete act for manners, but kind nevertheless and Yugyeom pities the blushing woman.

"Hey, we have to move you know?" Jinyoung prods with a smirk. Jinyoung's hand is outstretched, positioned exactly like Jaehyun. Yugyeom takes it, more gingerly and puts his other hand on his shoulder. Jinyoung's hand is softer, far less rugged, but there were different calluses here and there. They move with everyone else, swaying to the slow music. Jinyoung is shorter than Yugyeom, not a great deal, but compared to Jaehyun it seemed like a long way down.

"Are you mocking my height?" Jinyoung's tone is friendly and whether it's bait for something else or not doesn't matter to Yugyeom. Silence was rare with Jinyoung. Yugyeom can hardly remember prolonged quiet moments with the other. Since they were younger, they teased, prodded, and taunted for responses. Jinyoung sometimes used to complain about princely training to him and Yugyeom would stay quiet as he talked and vice versa though Yugyeom usually told stories to Jinyoung who stayed quiet for the most part. However, there is never actual silence between them, an uncomfortable weight Yugyeom reserved for council meetings his parents held with all their advisors and these days, Jaehyun.

"No. I have to look down," Yugyeom teases, smiling out of habit and somehow his words make Jinyoung laugh. His laugh is not cold yet still emotionless, a sort of sound that sounded oddly patronizing and haughty. Yugyeom can’t wait to mock it.

"Not only are you the tallest, you're the first to get married."

The moment breaks, shattering into glass shards like the jagged edges of Jinyoung’s sharp tone.

"Did I say something wrong?" Yugyeom questions in a hushed voice. He doesn't look at Jinyoung, instead at the other dancers around them, distracting himself with their movements, but Jinyoung is an eyecatcher, a natural alluring person. When they brush past another couple, the gown brushes against his leg, making Jinyoung pull him closer and Yugyeom forgets how to breathe.

"It's just a little weird how you are getting married," Jinyoung explains, his words sweeter than the bitter way he nearly spits them out of his mouth. Yugyeom ignores the tone, blaming it on the stress rather than hold a grudge against one of his friends. Jinyoung was protective of him when they were little. A lot of his friends and family are still like that.

"I know, but Jaehyun is nice to me. I think I am in good hands."

"Nice? You knew he existed a month ago." Jinyoung's grip is a lot stronger than before and his face is twisted in a scowl. They break apart to the slow end for the music piece, but Jinyoung apologizes to their next partners for interrupting and takes him away to the edge of the entire group of dancers. They are at a corner where only a few servants are stationed and the few couples dancing beside them are at a standstill, going around and around on their own accord unlike everyone else at the center.

"Why did you drag me here?" Yugyeom can't help asking, taking back his hand from Jinyoung’s group with a frown as they break apart.

"I know you like him," Jinyoung begins, mouth pursed slightly. "It's just...be careful."

Yugyeom rolls his eyes. "Of course, I know that," He pouts. "I'm not a kid anymore. I can make my own decisions. He really isn’t that bad."

Jinyoung's gaze doesn't waver, but he smirks, tension dissipating from his face. He raises his hand, wavering the slightest in the air before ruffling Yugyeom's hair. They aren't dancing anymore, just standing with their arms by their sides as they watch the other couples go round and round the floor.

"Remember when we used to dance all over here?" Jinyoung brings up as he rocks his weight back and forth between his two feet.

"You mean when I used to?" Yugyeom laughs, hands clapping out of habit. A few people turn to him, shoulders jumping at the sudden noise, but they turn away soon after, catching a glimpse of Jinyoung’s tight smile. "You and Jackson always wanted me to dance to some random beat."

"You're a good dancer. With people or without," Jinyoung praises, creeping closer with a shit-eating grin. Yugyeom turns away, but he could feel his skin burn at the compliment.

"We are all good dancers," Yugyeom flusters when Jinyoung pinches his ear despite Yugyeom’s swatting.

"Yes, yes. Now, let's join back. I think your fiancé is casting us looks."

Yugyeom looks around, but he can’t see Jaehyun through the dancers. Where has he been? Since they parted ways, Yugyeom can’t recall seeing him anywhere on the dance floor. Where did Jinyoung see him?

However, his thoughts drift back to dancing when Jinyoung takes him by the arm. Yugyeom reluctantly follows his steps into the dancing couples again, but with the new music, the overall mood is brighter and at the height of the gala, Yugyeom can't help moving faster to match the music. 

They look more rushed, dancing around the others with an unmatched pace, but Jinyoung is grinning until his eyes wrinkled, submissive to Yugyeom’s wild energy, and Yugyeom is smiling so hard his cheeks begin to hurt. Music always makes him want to dance and with Jinyoung, he wants to let loose, allow the older prince to lighten up a little more.

They carve their own path through the sporadic placements of couples and dash around the loop with the occasional flare of a spin, twirl, dip, or whatever made Jinyoung giggle the most. The attention, brought from nearly bumping to some of the guests, spurs them to go faster and Jinyoung spins Yugyeom over and over again to the tempo of the song. He wraps his arm around Yugyeom’s waist one last time, slowly tipping him down to the ground at the last note of the night, allowing the drowning sound of applause fester as they stare at each other. 

Jinyoung's crown is misaligned, his forehead and neck shiny with perspiration, his mouth exhaling heavy breaths. Yugyeom tries not to breathe on him the same way, but when they stand up straight, Jinyoung pinches his nose. Yugyeom remembers him doing the same gesture anytime Yugyeom even breathes in his direction and he pushes him away half-heartedly.

The night has finally come to an end and Yugyeom finally spots Jaehyun, waiting to take him away to the room as everyone begins to leave as well. Jinyoung is busy talking with Jackson and Youngjae to notice so Yugyeom slips away from his side after saying good night.

Jaehyun looks the same as he did the last time Yugyeom saw him. Not a single thing out of place. He wants to ask what Jaehyun has been up to. Yugyeom doesn't remember seeing Jaehyun's face since they switched partners and his fiancé looks to be in a good mood, his eyes glazed in happiness and wonder. However, they are at their room quicker than usual and Yugyeom feels a wave of fatigue wash over him.

Yugyeom tentatively changes out of his suit, standing still as the servants button him out of the simple pieces he wears before getting his bath ready. His arms, a tiny bit sore already, slide into his bathrobe and as he puts away his jewelry, Jaehyun begins to talk, his eyes glancing at the bathroom door for the castle’s servants before he opens his mouth.

"You know," The crown prince starts, looking down at the knife his fingers were currently fiddling with. Yugyeom remembers Jaehyun holding the blade during their carriage ride to the wedding, his eyes transfixed at the leather handle throughout the week-long journey. "I won't bother you in any of your relationships."

"What do you mean by that?" Yugyeom blanks.

Jaehyun looks up and sets the knife down gently as he smiles. "I want you to know I put your happiness first in this...this transactional, political proposition."

Yugyeom doesn't know how to respond, but he sure doesn't want to ask right now. The day has been long and to that so he nods, wordlessly entering the bath that was already prepared. 

Jaehyun is gone by the time he gets out of the bathroom, leaving only a note on the desk. Something about a friend asking for some drink. Yugyeom tries to go to bed, but being alone in the sheets, far, far away from home keeps him awake. At dawn, he sees Jaehyun walk back into their room in the same outfit. He closes his eyes and waits for the bathroom door to shut before he opens them again.

A feeling of dread falls above his worries, encasing them with an anxious drop in his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summaries are difficult wow
> 
> the next few chapters are going to be lonnggggggg :)))))


	5. 5

It's rare to see people from royal families and wealthy businesses waiting for their carriages under the blazing sun yet the near one hundred guests stood outside, no umbrella held over their heads. Today is a public event for the kingdom’s capital and the train of carriages into the main street of the city is just the beginning of the event. 

Jaehyun is with the rest of the decorated royal heirs, dazzling with their medals, tassels, and jewels as they reluctantly make small talk. Yugyeom ends up having to share a carriage with a few friends instead as the princes without a heavy crown within their reach.

Jinyoung should be with his family in the grandest carriage that will lead the parade through the capital city, but he waits alongside them. In the most decorated suit his royal tailors have to offer, Jinyoung is having the time of his life, whispering jokes into his ear and elbowing Yugyeom in the stomach whenever Yugyeom begins to mimic his robotic laughter. He reciprocates with snide comments and replies that have him in a headlock seconds after uttering them.

“Hey! You two!” Yugyeom hears Bambam yell, gesturing at the scuffling pair with tired eyes. “We have to go.”

They pointedly ignore him, choosing to tussle after Yugyeom slaps Jinyoung’s arm. Jinyoung jumps on him from behind, pinching his sides and Yugyeom can’t help smiling even through all the shrieking. However, they soon part ways, clapping each other’s backs before rushing to take a seat in their respective carriages.

“Damn, these celebrations have been all parties until now,” Jackson thinks out loud as the carriage moves out the gates of the castle, following the trail of others. “We haven’t taken a break until today.”

“Don’t think this is a time to rest,” Youngjae chides. “The public appearance today is a snoozefest. We just sit and wait as the royal family makes speeches.”

“I thought it’s religious.” Yugyeom blurts. When Jaehyun told him, he immediately thought of burning incense and herbs, kneeling down at statues for fortunes, and sacrificing gifts to a raging fire. If it’s just going to be back to back speeches to the public, he might as well practice sleeping with his eyes closed now.

“There is a religious ceremony,” Mark confirms gently. “The ceremony is just the beginning. We have to sit in front of the crowd and try your best not to fall asleep in front of them.”

“Is that why Jaebeom seems so jittery?”

Bambam snorts. “He drank so much coffee this time.”

“Hey!” Youngjae shouts into Yugyeom’s ear, eyes darting to the window. Jackson is not wrong about his complaints, Yugyeom figures as he leans to the window, eyes following where Youngjae is facing towards.

“Do you see that carriage?”

Youngjae points and Yugyeom squints towards the direction. The carriage is second after the king and chances are it carried all the royalty, kings and queens and whatnot.

“Yeah, why?”

Bambam sighs, pinching his nose. “Rumors are Jinyoung is going to have an engagement with one of them. Either a queen or king.”

“They want to expand their territory?”

Mark shakes his head. “Not exactly. Jinyoung said there have been requests from others. They are going to get their pick probably and I heard his father wants him to marry a smaller kingdom. Superiority complex and all.”

“Wouldn’t that be the children of the king or queen?”

“Some of them are around his age like the beta with the scruffy beard, you met him right? A few years older isn’t necessarily bad,” Bambam cheekily laughs. “Someone might boss Jinyoung around for once.”

Yugyeom snorts. “If that’s even possible.”

Jinyoung getting married. Yugyeom never imagined it. Sure, Jinyoung has always wanted a family even as a kid and lamented about fate and stuff, but it still seemed impossible. Yugyeom’s parents always made Jinyoung out to be an eternal bachelor, too perfect for anyone to stain and he couldn’t help agreeing to that idea.

Though everyone adores him to various extents, obtaining his approval in marriage is like trying to get a single rose surrounded by hundreds of thorns. Jinyoung is also more than just the perfect crown prince people know him by. There are facades to everyone and Jinyoung keeps them at hand at all times, making it more difficult to truly understand him as a person.

The crowned prince is clingy enough to close friends. Imagine him interacting with his significant other in front of them? Yugyeom’s stomach twists at the idea. There would be too much skin contact, flickering eyes, turning heads, random smiles, and worse of all Jinyoung’s eyes would become bee hives from all the honey gushing out of them.

“Hey, pay attention,” Youngjae nudges besides him before hopping out of the carriage.

They are at the temple, a vibrant red wooden building bordered with white walls and a large field to its left. The temple’s roof was covered in curved, green roof tiles and shaded the golden ornamentation on the open entrances.

Jackson drags Yugyeom out to the temple stairs and together they follow the royal family’s every step. They line up along rows of place mats, knees bent to pray to another kingdom’s gods in front of golden incense sticks, fresh flowers, hand carved wooden figurines, and carved scriptures on slabs of stone.

When the royal family finishes their prayers and gets up from their place mats, the guests of the wedding all shuffle forward. Yugyeom watches the second wave, king, queens, princes, and princesses, bow with the bell. The remainder of the guests shuffle forward again and Yugyeom bows along with them as the last wave. 

When he raises his torso from the ground, Jinyoung is looking at him, with a small smile and eyes nearly aflame compared to the timid olive laurel on his head.

However, priests begin their hums and thrums as they take the center and everyone is escorted to the gardens to take a break from all the fumes that failed to escape through the open doors.

Jaehyun goes to his side now, introducing him to the other crowned princes he was friends with. Yugyeom watches them talk, reacting only when he was sure someone’s eyes were on him. Luckily, their rather tense chatter is cut short when Jaehyun excuses himself, allowing Yugyeom to drift away from their conversation as well. He follows Jaehyun out of the shade of the porch, but the crown prince is walking towards one of many gates in the garden, his pace hurried despite the carefree nature of everyone else. Bambam spots him before Yugyeom can follow Jaehyun out of the gardens and Yugyeom is dragged by his arm to a private, sunny corner where everyone else is already sitting and his fiancé is long gone.

Jinyoung has a crown on his head again and the jewels as well as his forehead shines in the sun. His religious garb for the public ceremony is thrown across his lap and the scowl on his face doesn’t go with the dazzle of their surroundings.

“They are a bit of a bore for you to laugh so much, no?” Jinyoung asks, pouring Yugyeom a cup of tea before he even sits down.

Yugyeom shrugs, wiping the rim of his cup before taking a sip gingerly. The tea is bitter and he plops a few cubes in. 

“They’re okay. Just about as funny as you.”

“Ha ha ha,” Jinyoung laughs next to his ear, breath far too close to his face. Yugyeom pushes him away and Jinyoung retaliates by taking another sip of his tea. The crown prince regrets his decision and Yugyeom doesn’t bother holding his laughter when Jinyoung spits the tea back into the cup.

“Quit it, you two. We have something worse going on,” Jaebeom complains, waving them off with a sour look. “The shining couple of this wedding keep arguing.”

“What can we do about it?” Jackson eagerly volunteers. “Are we going to hold an intervention?”

Bambam snorts, crossing his legs as he leans close to the center of the table. His mouth twists into a smirk and his voice is a soft whisper.

“I heard there is another woman.”

Mark shakes his head. 

“It’s a small argument, nothing important.”

“You’re close to them?”

“No.”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes and taps his hand on the table, taking everyone’s attention, even the people mingling elsewhere in the garden.

“They will get married by the end of this month. Arranged marriage and all,” Jinyoung says, looking straight at Yugyeom, though his words aren’t biting and there is something so obviously soft in the way he observes Yugyeom’s awkward shuffle under his gaze.

They are told to move outside to the awaiting crowds over the stone walls and Yugyeom follows everyone out the gates. There are seats awaiting them all by the podium and the king takes the crowd’s attention as everyone else shuffles around the chairs. Jaehyun is next to him, their legs touching. The king, a gangly man with long arms and narrow eyes, begins to speak and Yugyeom turns his head towards the podium like everyone else.

He doesn’t listen to it all. He tries, but these things weren’t interesting and Yugyeom is not in the front row so the public surrounding the stairs of the temple couldn’t see him. 

He fiddles with his rings and plays with his feet, tapping silent beats on the stone ground as the king makes a joke and he tries not to grimace at everyone else’s forced laughter. Yugyeom spares a glance at Jaehyun and the man is stone faced once more, eyes trained on the king with little life.

The king’s speech comes to a close and Jinyoung smiles to the crowd after his father leaves the podium. Yugyeom instantly hears squeals from the audience and for the right reason. Jinyoung is a smooth talker on stage. The best of the best. Everyone in the crowd is mesmerized, enraptured with his every word and the sob story Jinyoung is crafting garners some sniffles from the audience. He ends it with a quote from a novel Yugyeom never read and the applause is deafening, even louder than the king, whose thin lips pressed into oblivion. Jinyoung is expected to take a seat with his family on the other side of the podium, but he turns the other way, his back facing his family as he takes a seat in the far back, the only empty seat and the one right next to Yugyeom.

The audience’s eyes linger on Jinyoung, squinting past the other rows of people until they eventually give up, turning their attention to the queen who steps towards the podium. 

Yugyeom tries to feign attention, nodding with the people around him as the queen makes her speech to the public, however, a pair of eyes are looking at him, a pair of eyes that should be looking at his own mother.

Yugyeom makes eye contact with Jinyoung for a second, giving in to the pressure of his stare and he immediately regrets it. Jinyoung is nothing but distracting and Yugyeom looks up elsewhere, trying his best to not give Jinyoung what he wants the most: his attention. However, it’s futile. He feels Jinyoung nudging him with his shoulder and he can’t hold his smile. Jinyoung goes further, downright pushing him and Yugyeom nearly collides with Jaehyun, barely catching himself on the armrest.

Jinyoung snickers into his palm and his hand gingerly goes through Yugyeom’s hair before pinching his ear. Yugyeom tries not to giggle too loudly, but his shoulders shake despite his effort. The prince takes his hand, entwining their fingers and his thumb brushes over Yugyeom’s as they look at each other, grinning until the corners of their mouths reach their ears. When they stand up, applauding the king’s last speech, JInyoung lets go and Yugyeom’s entire arm jolts at the loss.

Jaehyun doesn’t say a word, not even when they part ways to their separate carriages and get back to the castle. His face is set in some mold, keeping a calm, straightforward look in his eyes as they go to their rooms together. Nothing really catches his attention, nothing breaks him out of the cast over him. 

In bed, tucked under their sheets, Yugyeom brings up the speeches and Jinyoung, but his fiance cuts him off, combing Yugyeom’s hair with his fingers to lure him into slumber. 

However, Yugyeom doesn’t sleep well. He likes dreaming of absolutely nothing, waking up to no memories when his body goes to the dream world. Tonight isn’t that sort of night. 

Bloody hands were squeezing his throat as his naked body was dragged over a grass field. He can feel every shout of pain from his body, but he has no control of how his arms lay useless by his sides. He can’t fight against the still choking hands, still dragging arms, and though Yugyeom is sure he is screaming, he can’t hear anything. The world is in absolute silence despite how much he wants to fight against the quietness, his pain, his lack of voice. 

He wakes up to a similar darkness, gasping for breath and sweat beaded on his forehead. The sun is nowhere up yet and all the candles he lit before he went to bed were out. Jaehyun is not besides him, not anywhere in the room. The side where Jaehyun was on lacks any trace of body heat and there is no note on the bedside stands.

Yugyeom’s first thought isn’t Jaehyun’s whereabouts, rather, he feels scared by himself in a room still foreign to him. The darkness, the silence, the faint chill of night still in the air. He is alone, completely alone, and his hands are cold as his heart thunders against his rib cage.

He tries to take deep breaths, tries to imagine himself in a happy place back at home, but the illusion can’t whisk him away from the room, the stifling silence that haunts his dreams and the creeping shadows that reach out to his feet. Yugyeom kicks up his sheets in a moment of rage at his own fear, however, he can’t get himself to leave the bed to light the candles or ask the guards about Jaehyun.

The night isn’t old enough yet for the sun and Yugyeom waits for morning in bed, shuffling around and hugging the sheets with pinched eyes. Time doesn’t go by his will however. Yugyeom spends hours tossing and turning until he becomes tired of the sound of the bed sheets. The sun arrives before Jaehyun does, but Yugyeom hears the door creak a few hours after the entire room is bathed with morning light.

Jaehyun is dressed in athletic gear, an open chest shirt and short pants, drenched in sweat. He is nonchalant as he walks in and the guards that open the doors are new, unfamiliar from what Yugyeom can make of them, but he pushes down his suspicion for the satisfaction of a familiar human being. Yugyeom goes for a hug and Jaehyun is surprised, his cold smile matching his limp arms around his waist.

Yugyeom fills the bath with the morning servants that enter just then and he waits for Jaehyun to finish silently with a robe, fiddling with his thumbs as the minutes pass.

“It's wrinkled,” Jaehyun comments when Yugyeom helps him into the robe, but Yugyeom only shrugs before stripping out of his clothes. He enters the lavatory without another word, thanking the servants as he closes and locks the door.

Yugyeom looks down at the muddled violet hue of the bath liquid surrounding him, the lavender color made courtesy of a bundle of herbs and flowers the servants dropped in. He swishes his hand in the waters, presses his fingers into the dried plants floating on the surface. Yugyeom presses his thumb on his forearm and observes the shape, the bruising color of the water over his pale arm. 

“Jaehyun had the same mark on his neck,” Yugyeom says to himself, his hollow voice reverberating in the large bathroom. His feelings are numb and though he doubts that means anything good, he also doesn’t feel any anger, any sadness. 

Yugyeom thinks of warm hands, half moon nails, and dripping eyes. His heart thumps. 

Jaehyun knocks on the door, telling him to hurry up.

Yugyeom responds with a hum, but he sinks his head deeper into the water, extending his long legs out of the tub. His hair is going to take another half hour to dry properly.

Jaehyun needed to wait for him until then.


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harp glissando transition

His family has been having other people over in hopes of a treaty, and though their livelihoods need it more than ever Yugyeom has little hope of success. 

Everyone thinks of their land as worthless, nothing but a desert wasteland. They don’t border any large source of water and a majority of their treasures are imported. However, Yugyeom believes they have all failed to understand the prosperity in the kingdom despite all this. 

Their people lived more comfortably than most and his family always boasts the generosity everyone has. Their army is not the greatest in size, but their kingdom is a natural barrier from everyone else so it wasn’t necessary to put so much money into it.

But the situation has been growing dire. Yugyeom’s ancestors were all proud of their self-sufficiency, but his parents have been dealing with too many problems that couldn’t be solved by waiting for the kingdom to heal itself again. 

The weather, dry and arid, has turned against them with the worst heat the kingdom has seen in years. Crops withered to death alongside the dehydrated animals left to die in the desert and a record number of villages have been reaching out for aid. 

Their home, the capital with the castle right in the center of all the commotion, connected to the most abundant source of underground water within their kingdom, is beginning to wane in their own resources. The castle has been divided to accommodate the refugees with shelter, food, and other necessities, but the numbers have only been growing and only the private quarters of the castle have been kept away from the public.

So out of desperation, their family agreed to put Yugyeom’s hand in marriage.

However, an arranged marriage is easier said than done. The few kings and queens who visit purely through the attractiveness of a marriage treaty are put off by him at first glance. His gigantic stature, his weight, and even his rather irregular face turns them all away. He doesn’t fit the omega image besides maybe the soft voice they never hear 

And alongside not having the backing of a strong kingdom, Yugyeom might possibly be one of the most unfavorable bachelors out there.

However, this time his parents have a little more hope. They say this new kingdom is grandeur, similar to theirs in the strangest possible ways. The visitors were interested in a political alliance foremost, but they also had a prince, who is interested in men and an alpha. 

“Alphas and omegas are considered fated,” Yugyeom remembers hearing before, but the seeds of doubt have been planted after months of failures. How could this case be any different?

A week into the conferences, his person-in-waiting tells him the treaty needs his presence at the table and his parents rush into his room to get him ready, smiles large on their faces as they search through his closet for something appropriate. They settle on a simple, but impressive white suit and they push him out the door after they powder him up.

When he sees his possible marriage partner, awaiting at the large table with his parents, he is immediately intrigued. The prince is handsome in a regal yet pretty way and the black military uniform he wears with all his medals and trailing fur cloak piques Yugyeom’s interest. 

The prince stands up to bow, a regal greeting that contrasts with Yugyeom’s clumsy response and as they come near, Yugyeom realizes he is rather tall too, though Yugyeom is still a bit taller. Could height be a problem, Yugyeom ponders as he walks closer.

They shake hands and share a small, politically reasonable smile before going their separate ways away from each other at opposite ends of the table. 

Yugyeom feels nothing at their first meeting like this. The prince has rough hands despite his dainty fingers and his grip is weak, not condescendingly gentle with Yugyeom, just weak. The prince doesn’t make eye contact with him for the rest of the day and Yugyeom only learns of his name when the prince’s mother utters it. 

Jaehyun.

Jaehyun doesn’t say much with him alone either as the meetings continue and they are finally pushed in a room together alone. He smiles kindly, like the friendly yet handsome boy next door, and Yugyeom can feel his heart rate quicken whenever he sees it. 

They trade glances here and there, but Yugyeom speaks only a handful of times, trying his best to ease the tension in the room despite his own shyness, and Jaehyun remains stiff, a bit pensive with his slow yet curt sentences that leaves nothing for Yugyeom to really consider memorable.

However, by the end of the months of conferences, they end up in a marriage treaty. Jaehyun is Yugyeom's alpha, the bottom signature of a treaty between the two kingdoms.

Time passes before Yugyeom really understands how big his decision really was. The new home he is thrown into is far too different from his kingdom’s castle. He can’t ease his shoulders with the staff or king and queen. Even his waiting ladies and gentlemen hardly spare a glance up at him, torsos constantly pointed downwards even when Yugyeom initially requested to ease themselves with him. 

People who he needed to trust with his life continue to keep a distance including the prince he is arranged to marry to.

Night time is the loneliest he has ever felt. Sleep never comes no matter how many of the finest blankets and pillows he has on the bed. Shadows play with his eyes and the flickering fire in the quarter of the room crackles alone in the sullen room.

Jaehyun is usually gone, busy with whatever king-to-bes in this kingdom do. Though Yugyeom knows certain days were spent alone with a certain-someone who reeks of perfume. 

He doesn’t hate the lingering smell, in fact he would praise the choice in any other situation, but the scent isn’t satisfying on the collar of his husband-to-be’s shirt. On the few days Yugyeom does sleep with Jaehyun, he can even smell it then, stirring him awake from the hours of sleep he should finally be getting with Jaehyun’s presence.

However, most days, Yugyeom has their entire estate to himself. And when the sky completely blackens, he is on his bed, looking at the high ceiling. His eyes can’t see much beyond the glow of the fire and the window.

He twists and turns for around an hour, time drags so he can’t deny that it would have also been a few minutes. Eventually, he settles on sitting up, sheets at the ends of his sleepwear.

The glass pane is caked in snow he notices with a frown. But at least he can still make out the sliver of moon above the trees. Yugyeom watched the small fraction of the moon fade away slowly. 

A feeling of serenity courses throughout his body, causing his eyelids to fall ever so slightly but never entirely. He rests on the bed, in between the dream realm and reality, never really in one or the other as the sky fades to brighter hues.


	7. 7

The week goes by with the same events: banquets, formal balls, and a few more public appearances and Yugyeom was beginning to run out of different outfits to wear.

“Do you think they will mind me wearing this?” Yugyeom asks the man dressing him today. 

The suit is the last of his small collection formal attire and though he initially reserved it for the ceremony, he doesn’t have any other options. 

Jaehyun has at least two dozen more suits ready for him to wear, but custom tailored outfits for Jaehyun isn’t going to fit Yugyeom. His only suit is either going to have to do or he needs to make some rather unfashionable combinations.

“It will be satisfactory. Though you might need to consider getting a few more outfits. I can reserve a visit to the shop for you.”

Yugyeom thanks him and waits for the man to button him in before.

The dark teal suit has a matching cape a bit longer than the rest. It’s a bit too thick for the late spring weather, but nothing like the furs Jaehyun has on his back. 

It might be a bit plain compared to some of the guests, but he guesses it’s what his mother intended. 

“Being normal is best,” Yugyeom whispers under his breath as he walks out of his room to the fountain.

He has not yet seen this corner of the palace. The gardens his friends prefer to hang out in is closer to the castle, always in view of the guards at the door.

Today everyone was walking towards another part of the garden that seems to cover as much land as the castle itself.

Yugyeom follows the smooth stone path like everyone else, making comments about the incredible organization of hedges, shrubs, and trees to a few friendly faces before finally arriving at the beautifully set up banquet. 

There was a maze of fountains, more than he could count on one hand, surrounding the area with one larger, taller fountain in the center. Seats and tables were scattered around the fountains, set already with plates and forks as the staff walked around with drinks.

Yugyeom goes around like everyone else, mingling with other princes, princesses, and even the occasional king and queen, but internally he is already bored.

Today is nothing really. 

Jaebeom said the family held a tradition related to water, something about spirits, nymphs, and love that flew entirely over his head when Jaebeom began to enthuse about the aesthetic and emotions behind it. All Yugyeom knew was they had to spend time drinking sips of the fountain water as the shining couple shared a cup themselves and then they feasted on seafood for the rest of the day.

Yugyeom follows these sort of traditions a little mindlessly and he finds Jaehyun around the trees, resting in the shade as nearly everyone else waved their hands into the fountain’s spewing wall of water with giggles.

Jaehyun left early in the morning after dressing up to talk to a few people about their kingdoms, something about comparing armies or history. A knot formed in his stomach when the alpha prince left, but what can Yugyeom do? 

He wasn’t at a position to really call him out of his behavior. Maybe Jaehyun needed to warm up to him a little more.

“The weather is great today, yes?” Yugyeom asks, leaning close to Jaehyun’s side as he slid closer to the tree the alpha prince was leaning on.

Jaehyun taps his fingers gently on his sleeve and stiffly shifts his cuffs, eyes trained on the ground. “Nothing really. I do think the weather is not as great as you think.”

Jaehyun doesn’t elaborate and instead, gestures to the incoming glasses full of a scarily foggy liquid. Yugyeom reluctantly goes towards the drinks, his smile small like the fake ones usually were, with Jaehyun loosely holding on to his hip.

There is a toast, a cheer, and they all take a sip. The liquid is warm going down Yugyeom’s throat and a few drops fall out of the glass and down his chin, messing up the powder he put on this morning most likely.

Jaehyun helps pat him dry with his handkerchief, a woven, highly detailed red and gold square, but excuses himself again to the tree after the gesture. 

A group of people have settled where Jaehyun was last standing and Jaehyun seamlessly joins into their huddle with unusual ease.

Yugyeom stares for a moment, bewildered, before looking for his friends, who are situated off to the side of a draping arch, at the edge of the decorated fountain perimeter. The conversations between them were interesting, whimsically entertaining that it has him laughing with tears and he forgets about Jaehyun as easily as Jaehyun ignores him.

However, the heat is becoming impossibly hard to ignore. Under direct heat, Yugyeom feels moist, slick underneath his clothes.

The heavy, sweat-luring material slowly coerces him to lose focus of everything and effectively red-directs his attention on the sun that has him panting hot breaths.

Yugyeom excuses himself and moves towards a shade of another tree, further away from the liveliness of everyone else.

The star couple were happily talking to each other, his friends were laughing and running around inconspicuously, and even Jaehyun seems to be smiling towards his group.

Tired, bored, sweaty, and frustrated Yugyeom turns his back away from everyone else.

The rest of the garden doesn’t look impressively decorated like the warm fountains and ponds with flowers and sculptures galore, but he sees more water, a massive amount of water that shimmers like jewels. 

Was it a pool? 

Yugyeom feels instantly relieved at the thought. That and the coming evening wind brings lovely chills down his back. The sun is setting already when Yugyeom moves back to the festivities for dinner.

Plates of food cover every bit of tablecloth on the table and as the silverware is being set up, Jaehyun appears from behind him as his friends encourage him to take a seat with them. Together, with Jaehyun and his friends, Yugyeom takes big bites of the heavy salads, thick steaks, and soft bread with the occasional sip of white wine. 

“You know, your suit has been the talk of the day,” Bambam exclaims as the palace staff put away the tables to space for a dance underneath the stars.

“Why?” Yugyeom asks as he tries to look for Jaehyun.

“It looks good on you. I think we nearly have the same leg length,” Bambam cheekily replies, his smile large.

“I didn’t know you have become so boastful,” Yugyeom snorts and Bambam pushes him with a dirty look and pout.

Yugyeom retaliates with the same force, but before Bambam tries to attack him, Jaehyun appears before him with a bow and an extended hand asking him for a dance. 

Blushing, Yugyeom takes Jaehyun’s hand as they walk to the dance floor, ignoring Bambam’s grumbles for leaving him alone.

There isn’t anything planned today dance-wise so they just go along with the shifting flow of the other couples. The moves are mind numbingly slow that he feels even more drained taking such slow steps than taking quicker, larger ones, but when they switch partners, Jackson is there to take him away from the slow moving center. 

However, the main spotlight goes to a couple in the center, who has been moving so quickly, Yugyeom can’t make out their faces.

“Who's moving so quickly over there?” Yugyeom whispers to Jackson.

“Jinyoung. Weird, right?” Jackson asks, reading Yugyeom’s gaping mouth. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him move that much. Maybe, not even with you.”

“He’s a lightweight, huh?”

Jackson throws his head back in howls of laughter as Yugyeom cheekily grins down.

“You aren’t wrong. He drank only one glass of wine. It’s going to take an hour to calm him down from that alone.”

They stop when the music slows for the partner change and the older man pats his back before they part way. 

However, Yugyeom isn’t in the mood to dance any longer. The suit is still hot and after dancing with Jackson, his body is sweating again. 

Yugyeom leaves the dance floor and excuses himself away from everyone else. He stands alone by the previous painting location before he spots the shimmering bit of water.

The body of water isn’t bathing in light like the dance floor happening in front of him, but there is a bit of light, just bright enough for Yugyeom to pull him away. 

He tosses a look back at the dance floor just in case someone is watching him. 

Everyone looks tired for the day. The staff has begun to pick up a few of the decorations and he is sure quite a bit of people are already on their way to their rooms. The music has softened greatly and the hush of conversations is just loud enough to hear stifled yawns and a few farewells.

Yugyeom lets himself blend into the shadows behind a tree before walking in the cloak of night towards the water. The ground beneath his dress shoes is smooth and the pool’s faint glow is just in sight as he gracefully steps over bushes.

When his shoe landed on the concrete tile of the pool’s edges, he stilled in awe.

At home, the pools were large for everyone to fit in and they were never empty even at night. The weather might be colder than during the daytime, but the water is cool enough to soothe people and constant motion keeps them warm so Yugyeom remembers always hearing the constant sound of water moving.

This pool is clearly private. 

The atmosphere is completely quiet besides the occasional rustle of leaves and the gas lamps around the corners of the pool that give the entire place an ethereal glow.

He is the only one there, tempted to the water so with one last look, he slides in.

Yugyeom is still in his suit, one that is still drenched in sweat and keeps his skin a pink flush. He starts to strip and stops at his underwear. 

Today, he is going to consider them swimming shorts. 

The water is cool, far colder than the humid night air and Yugyeom swims a few laps around to keep himself from feeling too cold just like he remembered.

The baths his parents allow him to go in always consider swimming a little improper, full of rules and manners that forced even the royal family to stay put in the limited amount of water. So the few chances his family enters an actual pool with enough water to waste, he has to get dragged out or else he will stay swimming lap after lap.

And tonight he is doing just that. 

Yugyeom thoughtlessly swims and swims and swims, head immersed in the water with the rest of his body.

The sky is completely black by the time he finally takes more than a few seconds of a break and he rests himself on the ledge. 

Hopefully, Jaehyun isn’t back at their room yet. 

Yugyeom slowly swims to the opposite edge of the pool, where his clothes are, but they were not there.

Panic took a hold of his body and he curses underneath his breath, brushing the wet strands of hair from his eyes as he tries to make a plan to get back to his room completely naked.

Just as he crosses climbing up the castle walls out of his few choices, he hears the bushes rustle.

“Looking for these?” A man boasts from the shadows.

Yugyeom’s ears perk up at the sound and he recognizes the voice before he can see the man’s face.

Jinyoung is dressed up in the same suit he wore for the evening and the smile drawn on his lips as he dangles Yugyeom’s bunched up clothes, makes Yugyeom colder than the water ever can. 

“You know, in mythology, whenever a nymph gets their clothes taken while they bathe, they have to give the person something,” JInyoung brings up, snaking closer to the stone border of the pool as he drops his dangling hand to the ground.

“You’re going to blackmail me?” Yugyeom squeaks as he sinks himself deeper in the water.

Jinyoung’s smile drops and he steps closer to Yugyeom just until his dress shoes are by the edge of the pool. “No, but why are you in _my_ pool?”

“I just wanted to swim a little? It was hot today.”

“So you decided to swim in someone else’s pool?”

“Uh...yeah? Sorry.”

Jinyoung almost busts a lung from laughing so hard, his face wrinkled up in a way that turns his entire face to a bright peachy color. 

Yugyeom feels so lucky that no one is around right now. His face is more than just burning hot that he forgets how cold standing in still water naked is until he sneezes.

Jinyoung’s upturned mouth drops instantly into a frown at the sound. He offers a hand towards Yugyeom anyway and Yugyeom gets out of the pool sniffling, budding gooseflesh over his arms.

“Is that a tattoo?” Jinyoung’s voice breaking the still air once again. He coyly said those words, but Yugyeom can’t help noticing the waver in which he moves his finger towards his torso.

“It’s nice right? I commissioned.”

Jinyoung opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again. His ears are getting red and he shoves his face in the clothes in his hands. 

“I can’t believe you grew up so much,” He groans into the clothes.

Jinyoung doesn’t elaborate however, and eventually passes Yugyeom his clothes. He waits for him to change and Yugyeom is hyper aware of Jinyoung’s eyes lingering on his ribs. 

Yugyeom slips his pants on first, struggling with long, wet limbs, but before he starts buttoning his shirt, Jinyoung reaches out to stop him.

“Can I touch it?”

Yugyeom blinks at him before nodding. He has rarely ever seen Jinyoung so nervous and erratic until now and there is a weird but interesting shine in his eyes that holds the ink on his torso with great interest, something Yugyeom hasn’t seen on Jinyoung’s face since the wedding began.

Jinyoung’s hands are warm on his body and as his wide half-moon fingernails brush the edge of the flower, Yugyeom can’t help squirming away a little at his touch. 

The flower feels inflamed like a fire was lit underneath his skin after the physical contact ends, Yugyeom realizes as he finishes wearing his clothes.

Jinyoung accompanies Yugyeom back to his room and walks up the stairs with him. He doesn’t enjoy the strange silence between them, but Jinyoung looks peaceful as if he’s wistfully thinking as they walk together. He doesn’t want to ruin his peaceful, handsome expression so he keeps quiet, fidgeting with the wet edge of his white shirt. 

When they get to Yugyeom’s door, the guards bow their heads at Jinyoung before turning to Yugyeom.

“Prince Jaehyun has told us he has gone to figure out a suit appointment,” One guard informs him.

“Without anyone else?” Jinyoung questions before Yugyeom opens his mouth. 

The guard nods.

“He says it will be short and has been gone for ten minutes.”

Yugyeom thanks the both of them and turns on all the lamps, bathing the entire room full of light. 

He takes a step to the bathroom before realizing Jinyoung is still with him. “Why are you still here?”

Jinyoung shrugs and takes a seat on a chair. “Bored. Since Jaehyun isn’t here, I can be here, right?”

“It’s your castle. I’m going to bed so…”

“You can’t sleep without someone else in a new place, though? I mean, I think your mom said that last time. I’ll just stay here until you sleep.”

Jinyoung isn’t wrong and Yugyeom does like the idea of not staying in this empty room alone. He is comfortable enough with Jinyoung as well so he shouldn’t need to feel apprehensive, but it’s strange to have someone else in his room considering he is engaged with so much on the line, especially with Jinyoung of all people.

“Don’t you have things to do?” Yugyeom brings up.

Jinyoung shakes his head and gestures to him to wash up as he looks around the room. Yugyeom tentatively step by step enters the bathroom, all the while he watches Jinyoung observe the room.

He gets ready for bed as quickly as he could, slightly afraid of what Jinyoung is doing behind his back from their past as push and pull. Yugyeom is sure there is nothing that Jinyoung can make fun of in the room, but he should never be too safe. 

When he rushes out the bathroom, Jinyoung is still there, looking at his nails as he sits cross-legged until he realizes Yugyeom has come out and looks up. 

The room’s lamps are all out now except for one which meekly shines in the large room. He can make out Jinyoung’s soft features from the light and he shuffles away from Jinyoung as he goes to the bed as casually as he can, doing his best to ignore Jinyoung’s stare as he pulls the sheets up to his chin. 

A minute of silence passes between the both of them and Yugyeom can’t help attempting to fill the emptiness with shuffling sheets. He can still feel Jinyoung watching him, his big eyes observing his every move. 

Another moment of nothing passes and Yugyeom hears Jinyoung moving himself, cracking his knuckles into the late night.

“Really why are you doing this?” Yugyeom muffles into the pillow. “You can go to bed too. I mean, go back to your bed.”

“I’m worried. Jaehyun should be back soon too so I’ll leave when he swings by.”

Yugyeom knows he is lying. There is no way Jinyoung wants to see Jaehyun walk through the door and go into bed with Yugyeom. He is undoubtedly sure a scandal is going to erupt if Jaehyun finds Jinyoung in their room. 

The guards are contracted to not say a word about this while Jaehyun has his right to demand an explanation of why his fiance is being watched over by the crown prince of this kingdom. 

Jinyoung must only be here because he knows Jaehyun is not going to appear.

“How about I meet you in the morning? I never see you or Jaehyun at breakfast anymore. I only see a plate of bacon go up the stairs,” Jinyoung offers instead of getting out of the chair.

It was true. Yugyeom has been eating breakfast upstairs since they were interrupted with Jackson and Yugyeom had to leave Jaehyun to meet his friends. Though Yugyeom made sure to put effort in having time with Jaehyun, the crown prince either finishes the food before the plates even had time to cool down or disappears before breakfast is served and Yugyeom only hears from the guard that Jaehyun has eaten already and needed to meet his friends.

Apprehensive but tired of eating alone in his room and very much worn out from the day’s long and boring festivities, Yugyeom mumbles in agreement. 

Jinyoung hums, but he doesn’t leave and Yugyeom swears he could hear a flutter of pages. Minutes go by and no one speaks. He can still hear pages move back and forth, but they are quiet, rare, and Yugyeom is content with that sign of Jinyoung’s presence in the room.

He takes a few big breaths and closes his eyes, finally entering true darkness. With the sound of Jinyoung’s fingers moving the pages, he finally falls asleep.

The next morning, a body is pressed on his side and Yugyeom eagerly turns around to face them, a number of thoughts and feelings bubbling in his mind. 

But his smile falters.

He doesn’t expect to see Jaehyun’s pale, almost too perfect face in front of him and he also doesn’t understand how his heart drops at the sight of his fiancé. The prince in front of him seems to bristle at his gaze so Yugyeom turns back around quickly.

At least he has breakfast to look forward to.


	8. 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very late, but i haven't abandoned the work dw
> 
> Kudos if you enjoyed and all comments are appreciated

Morning starts slowly, the sun glowing in the dense clouds as it crawls its way up to the clear, open sky. The thin yet glaring streak of light shining through the open curtains stirs Yugyeom awake with a whimper. Blinking for a few seconds, Yugyeom rubs his face with his hands and tries to fall back asleep with his head facing away from the window. However, his eyes can’t close shut again and cold seeps through his covers and nightwear, jolting him with raised bumps all over his skin. A good four hours of sleep, Yugyeom thinks sarcastically as he pulls himself up from his sheets again.

Usually, Yugyeom’s people-in-waiting usher him out of bed and help him get ready for the day with a hot bath. Today, he is awake early and too lazy to fill a bath on his own, he stumbles to the bookcase and flips page after page of some written material he possesses. He scans through dozens of pages in hopes of catching something interesting, a playful line, a simple joke, maybe even a sweet nothing, but it’s too early in the morning for him to even choose a proper book it seems. Yugyeom is reading about the varieties of apples and their numerous name origins when his people-in-waiting finally knock on the door.

They take action swiftly after assessing his skinny, pale self on the cold floor of his room and carry him off the ground to the bathroom. They spoil him with bath oils and violet potpourri, humming a tune as they work around him. Yugyeom soaks until his fingers and toes prune, sniffling to himself despite the warm water surrounding him. The makeup they pat on his face fails to hide his sunken cheeks and swollen eyes, but the servants are glowing so Yugyeom attempts to match their smiles.

At the dining table, his breakfast of gamey meat and warm potatoes is already spread out for him on big plates. The large portions fail to account for the number of people eating and the flavor is as lackluster as ever. After each quick bite, Yugyeom swallows the morsel before his tongue can bother savoring the neutral, bland flavors. He tries to imagine the pieces of bacon his mother always fries up and the smell of sliced apples his father tries to embellish with cinnamon, sugar, and whatever spice he finds on the rack, but since day one, he realized taste buds can’t be fooled so easily. Yugyeom pours the thick cider steaming to his mouth and is startled again by its sourness, far too tart for his sweet tooth his brother always indulged him with, especially on a day like this.

“Prince.”

Yugyeom chokes on his sip.

A short, young man walks into the room with a guard on his side. He is dressed in messenger attire except his face is covered with a mask, revealing only his eyes that curve into half moons when Yugyeom makes eye contact. The man bows towards him and pulls out a letter from his sleeve. Yugyeom takes it gingerly from his gloved hand and inspects the thick piece of paper for a second in the light. The messenger is watching him, eyes glaring holes through the envelope in Yugyeom’s hand as he stands far too closely for Yugyeom’s personal liking.

“You may go,” Yugyeom bids to him, the sealed envelope in his hand as he waves him off.

The messenger looks the slightest bit taken aback, standing still for a few seconds before bowing once more and turning to the door with the guard. There are a few whispers by the doorway exchanging between the two guards and as the dishes on the table are swept up by the servants, Yugyeom picks up on a few words and he immediately regrets hearing. He tries to keep face, but they catch his torso stiffening and move out of his sight quicker than a cockroach at the slightest glimpse of candle light. 

The staff of the castle, chefs, cleaners, landscapers, etc., were chosen by Jaehyun’s parents. The messengers, coachmen, and guards were all personally hired by Jaehyun and the guards unease him the most. Their eyes scrutinize him every time he enters or leaves and a number of rumors on his chastity, looks, and whatever else Yugyeom has blocked out from his mind continues to circulate around the castle. 

He doesn’t know how to feel about having such people outside the room he sleeps everyday, but Jaehyun swears they are good people and Yugyeom has no power to go against the word of the crown prince. He is here to stay as their agreement says so, but it never meant he would be welcomed so easily, a prince of a desolate, crumbling kingdom has as much rank as a titled castle jester.

Yugyeom leaves to the safety of his room and unseals the letter for him to read. The penmanship is careful, thin strokes that pool on the yellow paper at the end of each word.

_I’ll be coming home this evening. I have already informed the staff of a grand dinner for you on this occasion and hope to see you ready in a few quick hours. I pray you are having a wonderful day._

_Your beloved,_

_Crown Prince Jaehyun_

Immediately, Yugyeom calls for his people-in-waiting and he spends the next half of the day styling his hair, makeup, and clothes for today. It’s going to be special, Yugyeom tries to encourage himself as another gray hair is ripped out of his scalp. Today is important, special, one of a kind. He hasn’t rid himself of living happily ever after yet, but Jaehyun coming back is hardly ever given early notice and the lingering doubts crash like waves in the shore of his mind.

These thoughts are further agitated when the crown prince arrives with two men and two women by his side at the dining table. Both men are dressed in the same black embroidered wool suits Yugyeom has seen often in Jaehyun’s wardrobe while the women are dressed in floor length form fitting dresses with long sleeves and a fur lined cloak on their shoulders. They bow towards him from their hovering position over a chair, but no one explains their names, titles, or even the reason for their presence when they sit themselves down. 

Yugyeom casts glances through dinner to Jaehyun, but the message fails to reach Jaehyun’s wandering gaze. He waits for the four guests to mingle with each other before turning to his betrothed.

“Who are they?” Yugyeom whispers to his husband.

“You don’t remember? They were at the engagement party.”

“I met them?”

“Yes. You have..”

Jaehyun mumbles their names under his breath and Yugyeom is wrong, the names ring a bell immediately, but how does he not remember their faces? With a new urge to impress them, he attempts to make small talk with the guests and the awkward silence from before is chased away with a bit of chatter. The tension isn’t completely gone, but Yugyeom can breathe a little when they chuckle together and the uneasiness of their presence is gone with the thought of having some company over. Being left alone in the castle has made him miss his family and friends more dearly than ever. 

After the meal, the dessert, a two tiered white cake with buttercream and bright, sour fruit, is carried out of the kitchen with a few lit candles. “Oh, happy birthday!” One of the men bellows with a sudden jump from his seat and the other guests repeat the same kind words. Yugyeom thanks him as the double tier cake gets placed on the table. He brings the staff to sing a song with him and the night continues on in the adjacent ballroom.

The joy never strikes him at any point, but something like it sparks Yugyeom alive after a number of glasses of liquor. He isn’t happy yet he feels good, better than he did all day and he finds himself dancing around the room, quick music playing upon his request. Everything passes by him like a blur and he feels warm all over like the fireplace in the dining room has finally been able to sufficiently heat the area he is spinning on. Jaehyun joins him for a dance with the guests and the music doesn’t end nor slow down its pace until the moon is high up in the sky. 

Yugyeom is still tipsy when he gets dragged away from the dining room, but the flush has calmed down significantly and in Jaehyun’s arms, he feels embarrassed and nauseated, emotions that would most likely haunt him in the morning. Despite the security of Jaehyun being home again, Yugyeom isn’t entirely sure of what to make of it. For today, Jaehyun is in bed with him and the warmth he reeks of makes Yugyeom tingle in a funny way. He isn’t used to a warm bed and staying under the covers with Jaehyun now makes him feel unbearably hot. How long has it been since the bed has felt like this, Yugyeom wonders. He should be able to sleep fine, no longer alone and freezing cold.

However, tonight is far too special to waste away the few hours remaining of the day with sleep, even if he can finally sleep a healthy amount of time. It’s the first birthday he is celebrating without his family and before going to bed, Jaehyun passed Yugyeom two letters. Yugyeom’s parents send a letter with a message that his gift is on the way. There is another letter, one with a navy wax seal he wants to rip and read now. 

Since Yugyeom set foot on his new home, he gets a letter sealed with navy wax nearly everyday, either left on his desk from the hands of a servant or passed over by Jaehyun’s gloved hands. The letters, all one hundred and two sheets of paper, are thrown on the floor at least once a week and in Yugyeom’s pale, jewel adorned fingers, they are held as delicate as fine porcelain. They don’t remind him of home like his family’s does, but there are many safer places than the one Yugyeom is currently living in and the one he imagines himself in when reading the letter feels better than anything else in the world at the moment.

So staying up, the smell of burning candle wax filling his nose as he tries to read the letter on the floor of his shared bedroom is more than worth it. His betrothed is snoring in peace in their bed as Yugyeom giggles beside the bed with a dim flame. A happy ending for his birthday in his own opinion and isn’t that all what matters?


	9. 9

In honor of his promise at the pool last night, Yugyeom meets with Jinyoung in the morning. A prince should never be breaking promises after all and he doesn’t seem to be missed much. Jaehyun perks up when Yugyeom tells him he had to meet someone and he is pushed out of the room with an uncanny smile from him. A guard is already there to escort him and when Yugyeom finds Jinyoung at the palace’s largest and strangely most secluded library, there are more than just a few guards around the bookshelves and a simple breakfast spread lays on one of many desks. Jinyoung is dressed up on the informal side with his layered sweater and leather loafers, but Yugyeom is sure anyone would find him more attractive than anyone else in the world either way.

Initially as they begin to eat, Yugyeom expects very little. He hangs out with Jinyoung more than a few times already and adding another hour in the day seems like a strange though welcome arrangement. 

But Jinyoung can’t stop talking about hiking trails and mountains. How does anyone know over ten hiking trails in one region Yugyeom will never know.

“There is something about the buildup and quietness,” Jinyoung explains to him over a plate of fried bacon. “The satisfaction of getting to the top and seeing the view is exhilarating, but the sounds of nature and your own thoughts mingle in the background as you climb up there.” 

Yugyeom can not empathize with the feeling at all. Taking things slowly and embracing silence is invasive to his being, but Yugyeom guesses it fits Jinyoung well enough.

“You seem like the type,” He offhandedly remarks and Jinyoung shoots a look at him.

“What do you mean “the type”?”

Yugyeom shrugs. He doesn’t really know himself. “The image works, I guess.”

Yugyeom is aware of Jinyoung’s many layers, particularly accustomed to the more playful, immature side of him Jinyoung retained from their shared childhood. But if there is one thing Yugyeom learned from the trip today it’s how beloved and regal his friend has become. His aura has grown more mature and though Yugyeom knew Jinyoung always had an affinity for speaking and reading and whatever else future kings needed to do, seeing and hearing the crowds adoring Jinyoung is a little alarming. However, Yugyeom also understands how Jinyoung will immediately hold the compliment over his head if he says it.

“Uh...you look serious?” Yugyeom fails to astutely respond.

Jinyoung looks far from a typical conniving, mischievous prankster so Yugyeom isn’t lying out of his teeth necessarily. Jinyoung’s natural face and tone are either too neutral, lacking emotion at times, or too romantic, the type of handsomeness that limits the spectrum of emotions people imagine he has.

In turn, Jinyoung scoffs and remains quiet as he takes another bite of food so Yugyeom tries to fill the void with his own idea of unwinding, one that doesn’t involve hiking and climbing. He describes with the best of his ability a trip he always wanted to take and though he is sure his words are a jumbled mess that makes no sense, Jinyoung smiles up at him and nods along.

As they scrape the last few bits off their plate, Jinyoung observes the fine china.

“Why is there an emblem on these dishes?” Jinyoung wonders, his brow furrowing ever so slightly. His voice is tilted, a sign of veiled complaining.

“The emblem is pretty cool. Your wolf is better than my bug,” Yugyeom tries to soothe. He can’t outright say the emblem is ugly considering the number of guards decorated with the symbol, but he does agree with what he says and hearing Jinyoung complain about an emblem seems strange.

“A scorpion isn’t a bug,” Jinyoung points out. “Scorpions aren’t the same as a roach or a dung beetle.”

“Your father drew that emblem himself, no?” Yugyeom deflects.

Jinyoung nods with a frown and asks the plates to be taken away.

“My father changes everything to his own style. Artistic talent, they say I don’t know,” Jinyoung begins to complain in a whisper, his eyes wary of the maids taking their plates. “He might as well change the flag color as he goes on with it.”

“Your flag matches mine so I don’t know what you are complaining about,” Yugyeom defends with a pout before thanking the maids. He takes a sip of the warm tea at the table and is surprised to find it perfectly sweet. Jinyoung raises his eyebrows with a smirk before frowning again.

“Navy blue is typical. A red would fit better.”

“Like Mark’s flag? I..guess it’s ok. Mark’s even has a flower as a symbol so that’s cool,” Yugyeom brings up, taking another sip of his cup.

The guards move away from their posts, armor gleaming despite the dusty sunlight as they glide over to their crown prince. One bends down to Jinyoung’s ear and whispers something, but Jinyoung whispers back with a small frown. The conversation bounces back and forth and Yugyeom reaches to re-fill his cup of tea before the guards take their places back at the door. Jinyoung takes the teapot and pours him another cup, acting nonchalant towards the last few minutes. Yugyeom opens his mouth and Jinyoung waves it off before the words can come out.

“You want a flower on your flag instead?” The crown prince asks, turning back to their flag discussion. The tight smile comes out like a thorn from a vine, an expression Yugyeom unfairly compares to the usual crinkled way Jinyoung grins with his rosy lips.

“Dandelion,” Yugyeom says with a small nod, shifting his eyes back to his tea.

“Isn’t that a weed?”

“Weeds are plants, therefore dandelions can be flowers,” Yugyeom explains. “You can’t find a lot of flowers in a desert, you know. They’re pretty easy to find so they make good painting subjects.”

“Show me.”

Jinyoung goes to an adjacent desk and passes him a pen and a slip of paper. Yugyeom draws a dandelion rather quickly under the prince’s heavy gaze. The drawing looks more like a careless doodle compared to the paintings he has at home, but Jinyoung is grinning prettily all the same as he marvels at the paper.

“You draw really well. I can’t imagine how you would paint them.”

The compliment makes Yugyeom feel all giddy inside and he can’t help getting a little flushed much to his own embarrassment. However, the moment shatters when the guards come in again. One of them beckons Jinyoung over the door, a proper and possibly more dire intrusion than the one before, and Jinyoung excuses himself with tired eyes. 

Yugyeom can hear them speak from his seat, but he can’t make out any of the words, only the jagged tones of both sides. This time, the guards aren’t brushed off like before.

“Sorry, I have something to attend to,” Jinyoung apologizes to him. “Everyone is still at breakfast so you can join them. I’ll see you at dinner.”

Jinyoung walks out the door and the guards wait for Yugyeom out too before following their prince down the hallway. 

Yugyeom watches the crown prince turn around the corner and he can feel a knot in his stomach tightening. Being a prince is difficult enough so he can’t help feeling bad about all of Jinyoung’s duties, especially considering the scale of his nation.

The day after, Yugyeom isn’t in his usual cheery mood at their arrangement. A long night of dancing, drinking, and keeping up a politically mannerly demeanor can wear a person down. He goes to the library, yawning as he drags his feet to the door, the smell of fresh food failing to wake him up. Jinyoung tells him to go back to bed, but Yugyeom assures him he’s fine.

“I’ll take a nap later,” Yugyeom tries to say, but he yawns at the end of his sentence and Jinyoung’s glare pierces through his feeble comeback.

“I’m fine,” He continues to drawl and Jinyoung lets out a sigh. The crown prince rises from the table and drags him by the sleeve back to his room. The maids are startled to see the crown prince there, but they stop cleaning up the room, taking their supplies out to the hallway to leave the two be. 

Yugyeom doesn’t put up a fight towards Jinyoung’s typical caring antics. He lacks any energy to do anything really and he is out by the time Jinyoung throws the sheets over him.

When Yugyeom opens his eyes again, Jaehyun is the one shaking his shoulder as the afternoon light showers his eyes.

“Dinner starts soon.”

They don’t speak much, but Yugyeom can’t remember the last time they have seen each other so he attempts to put a friendlier front. He brushes against Jaehyun’s fingers, clasps their hands, and even loops their arms together. Though Jaehyun stiffens under his touch, he throws his arm around Yugyeom’s shoulders and they get a few coos from the people around them.

After dinner, Yugyeom isn’t tired like usual because of the nap. Jaehyun gestures to leave, but Yugyeom tells him he is going to join him later. The dining hall is quieter now that some people are in bed sleeping and most have drifted around the castle grounds in a slightly intoxicated daze. Yugyeom looks around to find someone familiar to talk to and he catches a burning, raw light in an adjacent room. He peeks his head in the doorway and admires the dark oak furniture and gold foil artwork on the walls. 

Jinyoung is perched on a silk loveseat, a wine of glass resting on the end table next to him. Yugyeom takes a seat beside the older prince, but the man remains quiet, only raising his brow.

“What are you doing?” Yugyeom asks.

“Nothing much.”

There is a breath of silence.

“King stuff on your mind?”

Jinyoung makes an affirmative sound and closes his eyes, letting out another frustrated sigh before leaning his weight on Yugyeom. 

“Being king so soon sucks,” Jinyoung whines in his ear.

“I thought training to be king was worse. You have to pick one,” Yugyeom remarks, pinching Jinyoung’s cheek. The crown prince grumbles at the touch and swats him away.

“Training to be a king took time away from my life, but being king is worse. All of us haven’t seen each other for so long. I haven’t seen any of them in three years and when I become king I think I will only see y--all of you at weddings.” 

Jinyoung says the last part quietly, but Yugyeom thinks he heard it right.

“Are you sure that’s what you’re worried about? You are thinking about something else, aren’t you?”

Jinyoung leans away from him, looking at him oddly, but Yugyeom smiles, and Jinyoung breaks into a similar grin.

“Let's talk somewhere else,” Jinyoung says, glancing back at the drifting guests and his personal guards. Yugyeom waits for Jinyoung to leave first and gives himself a moment of time. There are guards by the door out to the gardens, but a sizable group of people is also outside, sipping flutes and glasses of liquor so Yugyeom takes a glass and joins them. He makes small talk with a few friendly guests, turning his face away from the guards.

When Yugyeom is sure the guards are looking elsewhere, he slips into the darkness and follows the shimmering pool he swam in a few days ago. Jinyoung is sitting by the edge and he punches him in the arm when he sits down next to him.

“Why are you so slow? I thought you were going to ditch me.”

“I was worried about the guards,” Yugyeom apologizes and offers his glass of wine to Jinyoung, who shakes his head with a grimace. “So, what did you want to say before?”

Jinyoung looks at him, the gas lamps illuminating each perfect strand of his hair, eyes becoming the shiniest of amber, but he soon turns away and licks his lips, sight now locked on the faint stars above them.

“I’m a beta king-to-be. My father wanted my sisters, but they all had their lives they wanted to continue.”

Yugyeom stays quiet and from the corner of his eye, Jinyoung lets out a small, frustrated cry to the night sky and throws his face into his hands.

“Dad keeps saying betas aren’t...aren’t respected. I don’t believe it, but...I don’t know. There aren’t a lot of beta rulers. Dad keeps encouraging me to lie that I’m an alpha,” Jinyoung groans into his hands, pulling at his soft cheeks with frustration.

“Your dad is obsessed with alphas?”

“He is proud of being one. When he heard he was going to have a son, he wanted me to be just like him. And then I presented as a beta. Dad hasn’t been able to get over it.”

“You are going to be a great king,” Yugyeom begins, grasping Jinyoung’s hand away from his face. “You’re smarter, braver, and more thoughtful than your dad. You can...”

Jinyoung tugs his hand away from him. “I know I can be king. I just don't know about everything else.”

“What do you mean? Your grandfather and grandmother were both betas, but they did wonderful things for the kingdom so they became beloved leaders. Do you think people won’t follow your rule just because you are a beta?”

Yugyeom lets the question sink. There is a pause in the air, one so definite Yugyeom can almost feel time stop between the two of them and he stays quiet, swirling the remaining liquid in his glass.

It isn’t like Jinyoung to be so doubtful of himself. From the years Yugyeom grew up with him, Jinyoung has always been definitively Jinyoung, no one else. He has always been confident, collected, and warm to others. There might have been moments in which Yugyeom resented him, but Jinyoung is not someone with ill-intent. Jinyoung cares more than most people know and has consistently been there for people.

“Remember when my father said you were going to lose at the dance contest during your first gala?” Jinyoung brings up, his eyes no longer facing his hands, but up towards the sky.

“Yeah,” Yugyeom answers with a smile, taking his last sip. He remembers the shock in the old man’s face, the wrinkles when his skin frowned alongside him. Yugyeom is sure Jinyoung’s father might have kicked up a storm about fairness, but it was a gala, and the comment about his moves being too heavy already put everyone on edge about his input.

Jinyoung hums to himself rather than say anything more. The silence comes back once again, the early night breezes taking the course of their conversation. Though Yugyeom is uncomfortable with silence, often filling the air with words when it is unnecessary, he keeps quiet with Jinyoung. He knows Jinyoung likes letting moments settle, gradually fizzling out until they can only faintly recall the memory.

“Do you,” Jinyoung starts to ask, “I mean...Why can't you sleep without someone?”

Yugyeom doesn’t like speaking of it. He can’t grasp how that one event changed his life so much and rather than confronting the severity of the situation at that time as a grown adult now he prefers to push everything down, leave it be until one day his memory will forget such a thing ever happened. His parents made the decision to protect him and Yugyeom remembers resenting them for months until he finally began to try to phase the memory out of his life. However, it haunts his dreams, clings to his mind when he ever tries to sleep alone, poisons his daily life with nightmares and aches.

“Remember the sleepover?” Yugyeom brings up, placing his wine glass down next to him and looking at Jinyoung’s startingly, attentive eyes.

The sleepover was at Jinyoung’s home, the old one his family used to have for vacations. That one summer, Jinyoung’s family invited his friends over to visit and stay for a few days, playing in the nearby stream, and eating barbecued meat together. However, the vacation home was weakly guarded and Jinyoung’s dad moved the small number of guards to his floor to protect his family from chances of attack, so the rest of their rooms were vulnerable to anything.

Yugyeom remembers going to bed reluctantly by himself, counting puppies in his head as he stares at the painted ceiling until he can no longer keep his eyes open. He doesn’t feel anything, in particular, happen to him for a while, but when he wakes up, grass shredding his back as he gets dragged out of the cottage, he screams underneath the clouded night sky. Someone tackles the man who has a grip on Yugyeom’s wrist and he doesn’t remember anything else besides the heavy impact. He never discovers the motives of the attempt of kidnapping him. Maybe he was mistaken for Jinyoung and was shocked at the weight of the kid. Maybe he knew Yugyeom would be the easiest to coax money out of all the kingdoms as the youngest in their friend group. All Yugyeom knows is his parents forbade him to go anywhere after and the man who tried to drag him out of the cottage home was hanged the same day his furious parents arrived at the castle.

Jinyoung knows. But Jinyoung still takes Yugyeom’s hands into his own, entwining their fingers together.

He is close, too close to be acceptable and if Yugyeom cares about the possible shame and guilt of an illicit affair he might have moved away. But Yugyeom really likes how Jinyoung brushes the hair out of his eyes with trembling fingers and he tries not to preen under Jinyoung’s undivided attention as the man’s eyes observe his face.

Eventually, Yugyeom pulls away with a smile and turns away, thankful for the shadows to hide his flushed face. Jinyoung tugs at his sleeve to look back at him, but Yugyeom shakes him off until he is sure the older man is pouting. Immaturely, Yugyeom laughs at the exaggerated jut of Jinyoung’s lip and sticks his tongue out as his chest heaves with each laugh. 

Less than a minute later, possibly just ten seconds, Jinyoung wrestles him down on the tiled border of the pool as Yugyeom cackles in the open air. Yugyeom is loud as in very, very, very loud, but no one comes over to check on them and he can’t be bothered to remember the time when he should be back at his room. 

Jinyoung leans over him, annoyingly distracting with his stupid, smirking face and stupid strength that wills his arms into pudding.

“So, tomorrow?” Jinyoung teases, easily pinning his wrists down on the ground.

Yugyeom laughs again, and answers, “Yes, of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone has a happy New Year!


	10. 10

Staying up late at night means waking up late in the morning for Yugyeom and he misses breakfast unintentionally. Jaehyun isn’t in bed besides him and the staff that come in to help them clean up and get dressed are not present though he finds an outfit laid on a chair waiting for him. He looks out in the sky and curses at the bright light.

He gets himself ready as quick as possible and tries to cover his dark eye circles with powder. Lunch is already underway by the time he dusts off his outfit and Yugyeom rushes to meet with his friends at the garden which he is at least a few minutes late. When he is almost at the garden, walking as mannerly as possible in such a rush, he overhears their conversation.

“Is it one of the debutante girls? A princess? A prince?” Jackson asks with a similar grin from across the table. “Come on. You can tell us.”

“It was a prince from what I remember,” Bambam answers. “A prince we know actually.”

Jinyoung says something after a pregnant pause, but Yugyeom can’t make out the murmur. From everyone’s grin however, it must’ve been funny or foolish. A foolish Jinyoung is charming to see after all. Nothing like a crown prince stumbling every now and then.

“What have you all been talking about?” Yugyeom interrupts, effectively taking away all the burning glances at Jinyoung. 

Everyone’s head swivels to him and Yugyeom is positive he is out of loop on something. He silently takes a seat next to Jinyoung and blinks as his friends grin even wider.

“What was there about a prince?” He points out, cautiously. Bambam nudges Jinyoung’s side and Jinyoung pushes Bambam away with enough force for Bambam’s larger yet clumsy frame to nearly tip the chair over.

“Nothing for you to worry about. How’s your engagement going?” Mark softly intervenes, pouring Yugyeom a cup of tea as Bambam grumbles as he fixes his outfit with a heavy pout.

“My engagement? It’s going well I guess?” Yugyeom struggles to answer. “I mean, it’s okay. Nothing much.”

Despite his words, Yugyeom knows it isn’t going well, but he is starting to care less and less, too busy preoccupied with other thoughts centered on a certain someone to be worried about Jaehyun. Jinyoung has been acting a notch friendlier than before. Yugyeom can nearly trace the entire area of Jinyoung’s hand with how many times they have held hands, either during dances, handshakes, or clinging touches. He always finds the older prince by his side as soon as Jaehyun is whisked away and he never misses Jaehyun’s company for Jinyoung’s. With him, Yugyeom doesn’t even need to say anything to feel delighted. May Yugyeom be mocking him or laughing alongside him, the feeling of indescribable joy and peace envelopes him whenever he is with Jinyoung.

Dinner soon comes once again and for the formal dance today, Jinyoung asks him to dance with him shortly after Jaehyun leaves. Yugyeom casts a look towards his fiance and he can nearly make out a man with a taller build dragging him somewhere else. He sees curved lips and sharp eyes, but he can’t recognize him from anywhere. 

Jinyoung is holding him by the arm when Yugyeom looks back, his gaze on edge as their eyes meet. He drags him to a remote room at the end of the hallway and Yugyeom can’t see any guards trailing them as they leave the dancefloor to the empty room connected to it.

“You wore something rather radical today,” Jinyoung comments as they make their way to the center. Yugyeom feels small in the room, a rare moment considering his build. With only the two of them, he isn’t sure if he is more aware of the empty space or how he is with Jinyoung alone again.

“It’s just simple.” His white shirt is normal, almost too normal amongst everyone’s evening dresses and suits. However, it's formal enough and alongside the navy pants, the combination is fairly handsome in his own opinion.

“I don’t think a shirt with that low of a dip to be simple, but to each their own. How was your experience with the tailor?”

“Pretty good. Thanks for making an appointment. I thought I was going to have to scramble around for an outfit.”

“He doesn’t usually make this,” Jinyoung gestures to his exposed collarbones. “Was it your idea?”

Yugyeom nods and Jinyoung hums half-heartedly.

“Do you remember the first time we met each other?”

“Of course. You were terrifying to meet.”

“I was not,” Jinyoung pouts, but he knows it too.

What kingdom hasn’t heard of Park Jinyoung? At the time, Jinyoung had just outshined his father in a bounty of songs and dances his family performed to the public in a festival and everyone, even towns bordering other kingdoms, adored him. Yugyeom remembers how much his own mother gushed about Jinyoung’s charms, wit, and talent. However, he first visited Jinyoung’s kingdom with a lump in his throat and trembling legs as he clung to his mother and although his brother acted natural, Yugyeom bolted to the bathroom before getting completely lost in the maze of a castle. He was only eleven at the time and when he saw Jinyoung on the stairs, he practically jumped.

“Why are you asking now?”

Jinyoung shuffles around a bit, eyeing the stars and moon outside the windows with crinkled eyes before shrugging. His smile is distracting enough for Yugyeom to let it go.

They dance like they always do, slowly in the beginning and the music from the room besides them echoes. Yugyeom can feel a new energy course through his body and it isn’t long before they were more or less frolicking in a circle, giddily going round and round besides the window. They are away from the line of sight from the entryway and Jinyoung is eerily looking up at him, the irises of his eyes glistening. The music changes softly and the drowsiness of the mood changes their pace slowly. Together they twirl and with the moonlight coming through the windows, they pull closer together, moving as a graceful unit rather than a frivolous one.

Yugyeom can feel Jinyoung’s linen suit on his chest and his warm breath on his jaw. Jinyoung’s hand releases his grip on Yugyeom, lifting off his waist and his hand. His arms encircle Yugyeom’s waist, hands clasping right above the dip of his back and Yugyeom follows Jinyoung’s lead. Yugyeom holds his breath, too afraid of breaking the moment with his breath.

Jinyoung’s eyes are still on him, always on him, and there is a swirl of emotions on his face. Yugyeom knows he is talented in acting, but there is nothing but genuinity beaming out of the near-black abyss called his eyes. He swallows once, blushing under Jinyoung’s scrutiny and the crown prince moves his hand onto the back of his neck. Jinyoung pushes him closer, fingers entwining in Yugyeom’s hair as they move closer. Yugyeom can feel his nose on Jinyoung’s cheek, his eyelids trembling when he blinks. 

In that long second, Jinyoung pulls away, collapsing both of his limbs down to his sides and Yugyeom, reluctantly follows. They are silent, not like before where Yugyeom is sure they were communicating in some sort-of way. This silence is different, heavy, and suffocating.

Neither of them speak up and only the distant music from the other room attempts to fill the distance between them. Jinyoung turns away as Yugyeom trains his eyes on the older man's back. When the quietness becomes further and further away from comfortable, Yugyeom wants to escape. He takes steps back to where they were before, in the light with the music. He doesn’t expect Jinyoung to take his wrist, drag him back, and kiss him with the same passion Yugyeom saw in Jinyoung’s dance, hold, or gaze. And it doesn’t happen.

Jinyoung is rooted to his spot by the window. “Your mother talked to me before your engagement. Half a year ago when she visited.”

Yugyeom remembers. Jinyoung's kingdom was one stop of many for his parents' trip around the continent. His mother didn't mention anything peculiar happening in her letters though.

“What did she say?” Yugyeom asks, pausing in front of the doorway.

“She offered your hand in marriage.” Jinyoung's voice is hollow, but carries his words with an empty amount of strength.

“And you rejected it?” Yugyeom turns to look at Jinyoung, searching for a response, but he only sees the man’s back. He has never considered Jinyoung to be fragile, but he looks ready to break, ready to fall and crash to the marble floor in a million shards.

“I rejected it,” Jinyoung whispers, his voice so quiet Yugyeom can barely make out what he’s saying.

“Do you regret it?” Yugyeom meekly asks, unable to thwart the crack of hope in his voice.

Jinyoung doesn’t respond this time, holding the silence as his defense. With the dimming moonlight, Jinyoung's hunched shoulders and folded arms gloomily fade into the shadows. So for both of their dignities, Yugyeom leaves. He steps back into the previous room, grimacing at the brightness. Everyone looks content in the golden light as they move. He see Bambam walk toward him from a table, his expression neutral but all-knowing.

Luckily, Bambam says little about Yugyeom's sullen face. Bambam offers his ring adorned hand to dance and as Yugyeom is whisked away on the dance floor again, he can’t help looking back at the dark room. But no one is there. Nothing, not even the glowing light they basked in minutes ago shone on their spot.


End file.
